facing fear and saying, "fuck you!"

It's that time. I've decided to post the dreaded comparison shots. A picture a friend took of me, innocently, at a baseball game back in April, in which I look terrible and the picture makes me want to cry and vomit and scream all at the same time, will be placed side by side with some shots taken today wearing a smaller sized pair of jeans and some Vera Wang leggings.

I'm not sure I'm ready for this, but as I need to realize: this is just the start of the journey. I know I look ten times better already than I did in that April snapshot. It's only going to get better from here on out. I need to show how far I've already come, and give myself and the world a realistic view of this journey I'm taking. There are people I don't want to see these pictures, I barely want to see these pictures, but it's a part of where I was, where I am now, and when I look back a week, a month, a year from now, I'll be able to puff out my chest and smile, epically proud of the ground I've covered and the changes I've made in my life, health, and happiness.

So here goes nothing:

Forcing myself to really look at these pictures, I feel better and better about posting them. The most obvious change is my legs. They are toned and shapely now, and the muscles are very well defined. My thighs need work, and I'm still working them, but they have definitely come a long way and I love they way they are shaping up.

The second obvious change is in my face. My face is thinner, and even from this most unflattering of angles, it doesn't look disgusting and terrible like it does in the April photo. The double chin is not as pronounced, although I don't think it's completely gone, and my cheeks aren't as full and round like a chipmunk harvesting nuts for the winter.

Thirdly, I notice even my back looks different. In the April photo, there are obvious protruding back fat rolls. In the May photos, these are not as pronounced and some are even gone. This astounds me and makes me want to dance in joy.

Lastly, the jeans size has gone down one size, and that's pretty significant for only a month's work. Also, the leggings I'm wearing in the May photos were ones I couldn't fit into when I initially bought them. Now I can fit them and they look great.

So this was a huge step for me, posting these photos. But it was a step I had to take, and I'm proud I took. This is my success, this is my progress, this is what a month of hard work and dedication has brought me. I'm not slowing down or stopping now, I can't wait to do next month's comparison shots!

P.S. And just for fun and I'm on a bravery adrenaline high, here's a comparison shot of my face from back in December of last year and last weekend.