I seem to be neglecting this blog, but rest assured, that my happy and healthy goals are still in the forefront of my mind and still being met. I haven't lost much more weight since my last post, but the numbers are still going down, slowly and steadily (which is exactly how I want it to happen).
I got a new Android phone, and downloaded a nifty app that tracks my food intake and that's helping me on the go with tracking what I eat and making sure I don't eat too much throughout the day. I'm usually at least 800+ calories below my daily allowance of 1690. But I try not to be too far below that intake because that intake is just to maintain daily functions. If you eat too little, it's harder to lose weight. Your body needs fuel to power your muscles to burn fat. Without that fuel, you aren't burning fat and that's the goal in losing weight, of course... BURN THAT FAT! Build muscle, because muscle burns fat, and then power those muscles so they can do their job!
This weekend has been a bit of a bust simply because I was quite busy. Memorial Day weekend is a big weekend for me every year because of a music festival I go to called Abbey Road on the River. So Saturday saw me hanging out in the beautiful and perfect weather, getting a slight sunburn, and listening to amazingly talented musicians covering the Beatles' musical legacy. It was a phenomenal year at the festival, truly, and I can't wait until next year.
Sunday I hung out with some friends, we grilled out for dinner and it was delicious, and also went on a bike ride. I'm now determined to get my own bike. It's a fun way to get exercise!
Monday I didn't have to work so I stayed in and cleaned my entire apartment, top to bottom, and also rearranged the furniture. So I stayed pretty active all three days of the holiday weekend and ate well and stuck to my guns, even though I didn't necessarily plan workouts and stick to a workout schedule.
I must give a quick shout-out to my friends who do a great job of being active with me when we hang out. I'm all for chilling and watching movies with friends, but I'm so glad that they understand that giving me a little push to go do something like walking or biking is so much more better for me and they don't let me slack. Because even though I'm into working out now and I love the way it makes me feel, I'm also a lazy person at heart, and will take any opportunity to be lazy.
But they don't let me get away with that and I am eternally grateful!
Alright, so here starts a new week full of healthy food and hard workouts! I'm really excited and can't wait to see even more weight falling off this happy, healthy body of mine!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
day forty-five: naturally habitual
I’m at the point in my healthier and happier lifestyle where things are finally becoming habitual. I no longer have to pay attention to a schedule to know when to eat. I get hungry at the appropriate times. I no longer have to remember to work out, or fight to fit it in, because it’s just a part of everyday living. I wake up every morning knowing that thirty minutes to an hour of my day, at least, will be devoted to exercising.
It’s all becoming habit now and that makes it so much easier and fulfilling. It’s no longer a chore. I’m seeing what a big difference only a month of doing this has made to my mind, heart, and body, and I look forward everyday to those feelings of success and accomplishment.
I find myself looking in the mirror so much more lately and that’s only after losing 25 pounds. How about after I lose 50? Sixty? Seventy? A hundred?? It will just keep getting better and better. My body is a resilient machine that has been yearning for this much attention and care, and is responding with feelings of euphoria and bliss.
Not only am I losing pounds, but I’m losing inhibitions. I’m losing self-consciousness; I’m losing that evil old habit of holding myself back from being happy! I can jut my no-longer-double chin out and strut my stuff, knowing that I’m working hard and it’s paying off, big time. People have noticed that I look different and have been working out and I can’t help but be blown away every time I walk past a mirror!
I am so proud of myself and I’m proud of the steps I have yet to take because I know I will take them, sure-footedly, and get to the happy, healthy me that I’m destined to be.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
day forty-three: swinging back into good times
I must admit, as far as daily exercise goes, I have been exercising at least once a day, but I just don't feel like I've been putting in my usual 110%. Instead of getting excited and looking forward to sweating and working hard, I was begrudgingly trudging down to the gym and working out for twenty minutes and then stomping back upstairs, missing that uplifting rush I normally get from working out.
Last night, I did the Power Sculpt DVD that I'm in love with, I looked forward to working out instead of dreading it, and I actually haven't felt that good from working out in a week or so. Endorphins rushed through me I could feel my muscles screaming with joy, I felt amazing the whole rest of that night, it was fantastic. I can't believe I had forgotten what a great workout feels like!
I'm looking forward to tonight's workout, I'll be doing the Cardio Max DVD and it's going to be great. I can't wait to jump around and expel all this energy and burn some fat!
I also went grocery shopping for this week's food and I'm excited about the meals I'm going to make. Today I had a grilled portabello mushroom sandwich with green pepper and red onion. Delicious! Tomorrow I'm making steak fajitas. I had planned on making a lamb burger on Thursday, but I couldn't find any lamb at Kroger. Not sure if they were out, or just don't carry it... but hopefully I can find some because I want to try some new meats. I'm tired of chicken and beef and fish, which is all I ever eat. So I'm branching out and trying some new meats!
This weekend is also Memorial Day weekend, which means hopefully my family will have some sort of picnic, and that will be fun. I might even be brave and wear some shorts or go swimming! I'm very excited! Also, Abbey Road on the River is this weekend and I look forward to that every year, it's a big music festival dedicated to the musical genius of my favorite band: The Beatles. It's going to be a nice day of fun in the sun and live music! I can't wait, I might buy a sundress for the event and wear sandals.
Last night, I did the Power Sculpt DVD that I'm in love with, I looked forward to working out instead of dreading it, and I actually haven't felt that good from working out in a week or so. Endorphins rushed through me I could feel my muscles screaming with joy, I felt amazing the whole rest of that night, it was fantastic. I can't believe I had forgotten what a great workout feels like!
I'm looking forward to tonight's workout, I'll be doing the Cardio Max DVD and it's going to be great. I can't wait to jump around and expel all this energy and burn some fat!
I also went grocery shopping for this week's food and I'm excited about the meals I'm going to make. Today I had a grilled portabello mushroom sandwich with green pepper and red onion. Delicious! Tomorrow I'm making steak fajitas. I had planned on making a lamb burger on Thursday, but I couldn't find any lamb at Kroger. Not sure if they were out, or just don't carry it... but hopefully I can find some because I want to try some new meats. I'm tired of chicken and beef and fish, which is all I ever eat. So I'm branching out and trying some new meats!
This weekend is also Memorial Day weekend, which means hopefully my family will have some sort of picnic, and that will be fun. I might even be brave and wear some shorts or go swimming! I'm very excited! Also, Abbey Road on the River is this weekend and I look forward to that every year, it's a big music festival dedicated to the musical genius of my favorite band: The Beatles. It's going to be a nice day of fun in the sun and live music! I can't wait, I might buy a sundress for the event and wear sandals.
Monday, May 23, 2011
day forty-two: putting myself first
This seems to be what holds most people back from living their own happy and healthy lifestyles. They have kids, they have car payments, they have two jobs, they have family members they are caring for, they have mortgages, they have child support payments, they have bills and rent, they have school, they have spouses, they have other priorities that come first in their lives over themselves.
I don't have those things, so most people would think I don't understand how hard overcoming those obstacles is, and maybe I don't. I have a good-paying job that is relatively not stressful. My schooling is paid for through a state-sponsored scholarship. I have money saved up to where I can take trips if I want to and buy the things I want and my bills are never late in the meantime. I understand that in my life, putting myself first isn't just easy, it's what my life is really about. That may sound selfish, or even immature, but I love that I've chosen to put myself first and make my health and happiness a priority.
And even though I don't have the mitigating factors such as kids and a mortgage to worry about, I do know that everyone can do the same if they put their mind to it. Because putting yourself first is not about ignoring the rest of the world or those that depend on you. It's about seeing value in yourself, in your life, in your well-being. I know your kids, family, pets, whatever are important to you. I know you have to work two jobs while busting your ass in school to make ends meet. I know you have bills to pay and mouths to feed. But you are also wasting away and letting that hectic life you lead become who you are.
You can't let that happen. Before you know it, you'll be forty-five and wondering where your life went. Why you don't feel good about yourself even though in reality you accomplished so much in your life. But you won't feel that you have, you'll feel wasted, you may feel like you've lived your life for others, and you have. You can't allow that to happen. You have to step up and say, "No one can make me important, but me, and it's high time I did that!"
I know not everyone can afford to buy exercise equipment or spend an hour a day on exercise. I understand that. I know not everyone can buy fresh vegetables at the store three times a week or have time to make fresh meals every day. I know not everyone can plan out everything in their week because there are outside factors that pop up to throw everything off track. I know not everyone can do those specific things, but I'm begging you to make that choice: put yourself first. At least sometimes in your life, you need to put your needs above everyone else.
No one else can find your health and happiness for you, not even doctors. You have to do it for yourself. It isn't selfish! You have one life to lead and letting everyone else live it around you, working so hard for everyone else's health and happiness is not what your life should be about. Help others, take care of others, care about others, yes, but you have to take some time, maybe only once a week if that's all you can manage, every day would be ideal, and live for you.
I found that once I realized that I am truly responsible for my own happiness and health, it became all too easy to find these things. I couldn't rely on other people pushing me to be more than I am because I just resented them telling me what to do. I had to find the power and drive within myself. I had to realize that hating myself and just living day to day just to get by wasn't making for a worthwhile existence. Only I can push myself to live a good life. And I'm finally doing it! You can, too. Don't wait. Do it now!
I don't have those things, so most people would think I don't understand how hard overcoming those obstacles is, and maybe I don't. I have a good-paying job that is relatively not stressful. My schooling is paid for through a state-sponsored scholarship. I have money saved up to where I can take trips if I want to and buy the things I want and my bills are never late in the meantime. I understand that in my life, putting myself first isn't just easy, it's what my life is really about. That may sound selfish, or even immature, but I love that I've chosen to put myself first and make my health and happiness a priority.
And even though I don't have the mitigating factors such as kids and a mortgage to worry about, I do know that everyone can do the same if they put their mind to it. Because putting yourself first is not about ignoring the rest of the world or those that depend on you. It's about seeing value in yourself, in your life, in your well-being. I know your kids, family, pets, whatever are important to you. I know you have to work two jobs while busting your ass in school to make ends meet. I know you have bills to pay and mouths to feed. But you are also wasting away and letting that hectic life you lead become who you are.
You can't let that happen. Before you know it, you'll be forty-five and wondering where your life went. Why you don't feel good about yourself even though in reality you accomplished so much in your life. But you won't feel that you have, you'll feel wasted, you may feel like you've lived your life for others, and you have. You can't allow that to happen. You have to step up and say, "No one can make me important, but me, and it's high time I did that!"
I know not everyone can afford to buy exercise equipment or spend an hour a day on exercise. I understand that. I know not everyone can buy fresh vegetables at the store three times a week or have time to make fresh meals every day. I know not everyone can plan out everything in their week because there are outside factors that pop up to throw everything off track. I know not everyone can do those specific things, but I'm begging you to make that choice: put yourself first. At least sometimes in your life, you need to put your needs above everyone else.
No one else can find your health and happiness for you, not even doctors. You have to do it for yourself. It isn't selfish! You have one life to lead and letting everyone else live it around you, working so hard for everyone else's health and happiness is not what your life should be about. Help others, take care of others, care about others, yes, but you have to take some time, maybe only once a week if that's all you can manage, every day would be ideal, and live for you.
I found that once I realized that I am truly responsible for my own happiness and health, it became all too easy to find these things. I couldn't rely on other people pushing me to be more than I am because I just resented them telling me what to do. I had to find the power and drive within myself. I had to realize that hating myself and just living day to day just to get by wasn't making for a worthwhile existence. Only I can push myself to live a good life. And I'm finally doing it! You can, too. Don't wait. Do it now!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
wayward weekend
This weekend has been the first time since I started (save jury duty) that my whole schedule has been thrown completely out of whack. I woke up around 11:30 AM and had yogurt and toast with Nutella for breakfast. Not bad, and then I pretty much lazed around all day, explaining in my head that since it was reward day, I didn't need to bust my ass cleaning my apartment or running around doing errands.
Random Product Placement I'm Not Being Paid For: One thing I did do was wax my legs. I hate dealing with hair removal. It's the one part about being a woman that I truly despise and hate. It's time-consuming, it costs money (what DOESN'T cost money about being a woman??? Feminine hygiene products, bras we have to wear and men don't, birth control, etc.) waxing can be painful, and worse, men don't have to do it. But I'm not going to get up on my feminist soapbox in this blog. I can do that on my other blogs.
Anyway, hair removal for me is always a big debacle because I hate doing it, so I am always looking for quick, easy, relatively painless, and un-messy ways to remove hair from my legs and body. A co-worker told me about Nair Milk and Honey Microwaveable Roll-On Wax.
This. Stuff. Is. Sent. From. Heaven. I love it, it's easy to use, it's fast, it hurts because there's no way waxing can't hurt, but it's not so bad once you get started. I've never really minded waxing, it's the messiness involved that drives me crazy, but this roll-on wax eliminates that. And the best part? It's water-soluble, so even if you do get some on the tub, or there's residue left on your leg after ripping off a strip, it's easily rinsed off with warm water. It's amazing, sincerely it is. Just thought I would give them a shout out since they made my hair removal experience, normally an annoying nightmare, quite an easy and simple excursion.
That's enough of that, back to more important matters, like what I got up to this weekend that's knocked me so off my Happy Healthy Gina course (but not really).
So I woke up, had breakfast, waxed my legs, and chatted with my man for the whole afternoon into the evening. I had lunch (breakfast burrito) and then went to Kohl's to buy those sparkly shoes I really wanted. They didn't have my size, and after I tried a few pairs on, I realized how uncomfortable they were going to be anyway, so I shopped around and settled on a silver pair of lower heels that ended up looking amazing with the "faux jeans" Vera Wang leggings I also bought on that excursion to Kohl's and the purple top I decided to wear.
I. Actually. Felt. Attractive. Of course, my man saying that he could have a wank even if he was only allowed to see me from the calves down with those leggings and shoes definitely helped, but I just knew I looked quite good last night, even if he hadn't said that before I went out. I have never felt that way in my life. Ever. I have never thought, "Hey, someone could glance at me and find me attractive in this outfit I'm wearing." It was an amazing feeling and one I'm now quite hungry for and can't wait to feel again.
Clothes do matter, and I never cared about them before. Before, I just bought clothes that I could fit into without ballooning over the top too badly, or clothes that didn't cling to my jelly rolls. Now that I know what it feels like to wear clothes that actually fit and show off my best attributes (my boobies and legs) I know that I can look and feel attractive and it's a truly eye-opening feeling. I can't believe I've gone my whole life unable to feel that way, never thinking there was any way I could feel that feeling.
I gave up on myself, I had let myself down. Thankfully, it didn't take a mid-life crisis or later to realize my mistake and fix it. I am on the right path to making myself a whole, happy, and healthy person, and nothing is going to stop me now. I've had a taste of the rewarding benefits of my efforts, and there's no turning back. I'm hooked on healthiness and happiness and it's an addiction I'm never going to break.
I didn't get in until past 6:00 A.M. last night, and it was completely worth it. I don't care that I had a Jimmy John's sandwich around 3:00 AM (NOT allowed in my eating schedule), I don't care that I had three rum and Cokes (sodas are NOT allowed, either)... It was all worth it, and I won't be going out like this every weekend. This is the first time in at least the two months that I've been doing this whole thing that I have, so I don't feel guilty at all. It was too much fun and I felt way too good about myself to regret it.
I need to go clothes shopping and buy better fitting clothes. It was too amazing... :)
P.S. I almost forgot to mention another awesome thing that happened yesterday at Kohl's... I decided to try on some shorts just to see what they would look like on me because one of my goals for this summer is to buy some shorts, a bathing suit, and a sundress, and wear them all a few times. I haven't owned any of those items in a long time, and I think it's high time I did. But anyway, I tried on some shorts, and I fit into a size 24. I didn't try a size 22, but I bet I could have fit into them, even though they might have been a bit tight. When I started this whole thing nearly 40 days ago, I was wearing size 28 jeans and dress slacks. I tried on size 24 jean shorts yesterday and could fit them.
Also, the Vera Wang leggings I bought, I bought them in the size I already have a few pairs in because I knew I could fit them. They were actually a little bit baggy on me, so I probably could have gone down a size in those, too. I'm so excited. I love seeing the sizes go down and the numbers on the scale going down. It's so enthralling and makes me feel so good. Being happy and healthy is the best decision I've ever made.
Random Product Placement I'm Not Being Paid For: One thing I did do was wax my legs. I hate dealing with hair removal. It's the one part about being a woman that I truly despise and hate. It's time-consuming, it costs money (what DOESN'T cost money about being a woman??? Feminine hygiene products, bras we have to wear and men don't, birth control, etc.) waxing can be painful, and worse, men don't have to do it. But I'm not going to get up on my feminist soapbox in this blog. I can do that on my other blogs.
Anyway, hair removal for me is always a big debacle because I hate doing it, so I am always looking for quick, easy, relatively painless, and un-messy ways to remove hair from my legs and body. A co-worker told me about Nair Milk and Honey Microwaveable Roll-On Wax.
This. Stuff. Is. Sent. From. Heaven. I love it, it's easy to use, it's fast, it hurts because there's no way waxing can't hurt, but it's not so bad once you get started. I've never really minded waxing, it's the messiness involved that drives me crazy, but this roll-on wax eliminates that. And the best part? It's water-soluble, so even if you do get some on the tub, or there's residue left on your leg after ripping off a strip, it's easily rinsed off with warm water. It's amazing, sincerely it is. Just thought I would give them a shout out since they made my hair removal experience, normally an annoying nightmare, quite an easy and simple excursion.
That's enough of that, back to more important matters, like what I got up to this weekend that's knocked me so off my Happy Healthy Gina course (but not really).
So I woke up, had breakfast, waxed my legs, and chatted with my man for the whole afternoon into the evening. I had lunch (breakfast burrito) and then went to Kohl's to buy those sparkly shoes I really wanted. They didn't have my size, and after I tried a few pairs on, I realized how uncomfortable they were going to be anyway, so I shopped around and settled on a silver pair of lower heels that ended up looking amazing with the "faux jeans" Vera Wang leggings I also bought on that excursion to Kohl's and the purple top I decided to wear.
I. Actually. Felt. Attractive. Of course, my man saying that he could have a wank even if he was only allowed to see me from the calves down with those leggings and shoes definitely helped, but I just knew I looked quite good last night, even if he hadn't said that before I went out. I have never felt that way in my life. Ever. I have never thought, "Hey, someone could glance at me and find me attractive in this outfit I'm wearing." It was an amazing feeling and one I'm now quite hungry for and can't wait to feel again.
Clothes do matter, and I never cared about them before. Before, I just bought clothes that I could fit into without ballooning over the top too badly, or clothes that didn't cling to my jelly rolls. Now that I know what it feels like to wear clothes that actually fit and show off my best attributes (my boobies and legs) I know that I can look and feel attractive and it's a truly eye-opening feeling. I can't believe I've gone my whole life unable to feel that way, never thinking there was any way I could feel that feeling.
I gave up on myself, I had let myself down. Thankfully, it didn't take a mid-life crisis or later to realize my mistake and fix it. I am on the right path to making myself a whole, happy, and healthy person, and nothing is going to stop me now. I've had a taste of the rewarding benefits of my efforts, and there's no turning back. I'm hooked on healthiness and happiness and it's an addiction I'm never going to break.
I didn't get in until past 6:00 A.M. last night, and it was completely worth it. I don't care that I had a Jimmy John's sandwich around 3:00 AM (NOT allowed in my eating schedule), I don't care that I had three rum and Cokes (sodas are NOT allowed, either)... It was all worth it, and I won't be going out like this every weekend. This is the first time in at least the two months that I've been doing this whole thing that I have, so I don't feel guilty at all. It was too much fun and I felt way too good about myself to regret it.
I need to go clothes shopping and buy better fitting clothes. It was too amazing... :)
P.S. I almost forgot to mention another awesome thing that happened yesterday at Kohl's... I decided to try on some shorts just to see what they would look like on me because one of my goals for this summer is to buy some shorts, a bathing suit, and a sundress, and wear them all a few times. I haven't owned any of those items in a long time, and I think it's high time I did. But anyway, I tried on some shorts, and I fit into a size 24. I didn't try a size 22, but I bet I could have fit into them, even though they might have been a bit tight. When I started this whole thing nearly 40 days ago, I was wearing size 28 jeans and dress slacks. I tried on size 24 jean shorts yesterday and could fit them.
Also, the Vera Wang leggings I bought, I bought them in the size I already have a few pairs in because I knew I could fit them. They were actually a little bit baggy on me, so I probably could have gone down a size in those, too. I'm so excited. I love seeing the sizes go down and the numbers on the scale going down. It's so enthralling and makes me feel so good. Being happy and healthy is the best decision I've ever made.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
has nothing to do with this blog
but I can't upload photos to Facebook from work for some reason, LOL, and I wanted to show off this idea.
Outfit for Connections?
Black leggings, purple pink grey and black shirt, and brand new sexy sparkly heels? Not sure what kind of makeup to wear, I think I'll wear the copper brown eye makeup I love and pink lip gloss.
My other idea is the smaller size jeans I have and a blue top that is short-sleeved and has a lower Vneck with these heels and the same makeup.
I'm just so damned excited to dress up and go out and dance and drink. It's been too long and I never feel good about myself in crowds of beautiful vibrant people. This time I may just feel like I might stand out, and in a good way, too!
Outfit for Connections?
Black leggings, purple pink grey and black shirt, and brand new sexy sparkly heels? Not sure what kind of makeup to wear, I think I'll wear the copper brown eye makeup I love and pink lip gloss.
My other idea is the smaller size jeans I have and a blue top that is short-sleeved and has a lower Vneck with these heels and the same makeup.
I'm just so damned excited to dress up and go out and dance and drink. It's been too long and I never feel good about myself in crowds of beautiful vibrant people. This time I may just feel like I might stand out, and in a good way, too!
rewarding myself
The incentives to continue on this most epic journey of personal achievement are sometimes intangible. But every so often, being the human female that I am, I yearn for something tangible that I can hold, touch, and revel in owning as a reward for working hard. I feel like I've worked very hard becoming a happier, healthier me.
Have I reached a particular weight goal? No, because I don't have a weight goal. Have I reached a particular pant's or clothing size? No, because I haven't set a goal for that, either.
But I have reached a time where I just want something. I want a present, I want physical acknowledgment that I have come a long way and am doing great. Basically, I want to spend some money. So, I'm rewarding myself for working out nearly every day since I started this journey. I'm rewarding myself for not eating out this whole time and for eating less portions and sticking to my eating schedule. I'm rewarding myself for sticking to my guns and not letting myself down.
How am I going to reward myself?
Yes. Yes. Yes. I have wanted these shoes since the day I laid eyes on them earlier this year in Kohl's. The price tag kept me from bagging a pair, but I've decided that there's no time like the present time! I've saved so much money from not eating fast food and from planning my meals weekly that I can afford these shoes, and I'm going to buy them. I'm also planning on buying some new clothes as well, mainly underwear because I need better fitting ones. But I'm not going to go too crazy since I still have a lot of weight to lose and won't be the size I am today for too long. I'm also getting my hair cut, which isn't quite part of the reward, but something I need to do, it keeps getting in my face and bothering me!
So this Saturday is going to be my reward day. I'm going to go clothes shopping, buy those outrageous shoes that I love and maybe a cute new outfit, or at least new underwear, and get my haircut. I might go get my nails done as well, not sure about that part... I'm just going to relax and spend a day pampering myself and spending some hard-earned cash on things I want instead of just things I need. I'm also going to a night club with some friends that night, and will allow myself a few celebratory drinks as well. I can't wait, I deserve to pamper myself as a reward for all my hard work!
Have I reached a particular weight goal? No, because I don't have a weight goal. Have I reached a particular pant's or clothing size? No, because I haven't set a goal for that, either.
But I have reached a time where I just want something. I want a present, I want physical acknowledgment that I have come a long way and am doing great. Basically, I want to spend some money. So, I'm rewarding myself for working out nearly every day since I started this journey. I'm rewarding myself for not eating out this whole time and for eating less portions and sticking to my eating schedule. I'm rewarding myself for sticking to my guns and not letting myself down.
How am I going to reward myself?
Yes. Yes. Yes. I have wanted these shoes since the day I laid eyes on them earlier this year in Kohl's. The price tag kept me from bagging a pair, but I've decided that there's no time like the present time! I've saved so much money from not eating fast food and from planning my meals weekly that I can afford these shoes, and I'm going to buy them. I'm also planning on buying some new clothes as well, mainly underwear because I need better fitting ones. But I'm not going to go too crazy since I still have a lot of weight to lose and won't be the size I am today for too long. I'm also getting my hair cut, which isn't quite part of the reward, but something I need to do, it keeps getting in my face and bothering me!
So this Saturday is going to be my reward day. I'm going to go clothes shopping, buy those outrageous shoes that I love and maybe a cute new outfit, or at least new underwear, and get my haircut. I might go get my nails done as well, not sure about that part... I'm just going to relax and spend a day pampering myself and spending some hard-earned cash on things I want instead of just things I need. I'm also going to a night club with some friends that night, and will allow myself a few celebratory drinks as well. I can't wait, I deserve to pamper myself as a reward for all my hard work!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
sorry men, but you may want to scroll past this one...
Man, I feel like a woman. Not to alienate any male readers I may somehow have, but this week is the week that my body likes to make damned sure I know that I am a functioning female homo sapien. Some may refer to this time as Aunt Flo coming to visit… or as Mother Nature’s gift. I call it annoying if anything and today was not the best day I’ve had in a while.
I’m not sure if being fat makes periods less hassle… I know it can make them irregular, but I don’t ever remember getting cramps. Today, I had cramps. It wasn’t fun, and the worst part about it was how far working out was from my mind. I didn’t want to think about going from a standing up to sitting down position let alone doing jumping jacks or squats.
And I’m sad to report that I haven’t worked out today. This morning, after dragging myself out of bed, I literally just made lunch. That was the only activity I physically did besides taking a shower and eating that lunch. Here at work, where I usually take my dinner break and work out in the gym downstairs, I’ve chosen to sit here with my feet up and type this blog.
Am I giving up? Is my unfertilized uterus to blame for knocking me off track?
No. I am to blame, but there’s nothing to be faulted. I started my period today and decided to not work out. It doesn’t mean I’m undoing all my hard work, not in a day. It doesn’t mean tomorrow will be the same story. I can assure you it won’t. I’m working out twice tomorrow if it kills me. My uterus, which I have dubbed Lady Anna for no other reason than that it’s my uterus and I can do what I want with it, can gripe and groan all she wants to tomorrow. She’s had her day off and tomorrow I’m getting back on track!
Now if you have any tips or tricks, ladies, for working out at this most inconvenient and annoying of times in a woman’s month, let me know! It can be tricky and irritating, but it’s something that I have to do because I’m not taking a week off from working out. I didn’t do that last month (but I didn’t have cramps last month, either).
Was this too much information? Well, I don’t really care, as I’m sure you’ve figured out already if you’ve read this much of Happy, Healthy Gina.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
motivational quotes: week six
I love this quote, because it is incredibly motivating to me. Every night when I lay down to sleep, it's intensely rewarding to realize that I achieved that day's goals, and that those small goals are stepping stones that had to be crossed in order to get to my larger life goals. I love knowing that not a day was wasted, that every single day, I did something that inches me closer to my better tomorrow, and to my better quality of life.Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.
Doug Firebaugh
Wasting days is a thing of the past. Now, every so often, a day where I don't do much of anything is alright. I've earned those days, and really, they aren't rewards for hard work. They are days where I can reboot, rejuvenate, relax. It gives my muscles a chance to cool down so the next time they are worked, they work hard. Off days are simply times to recuperate and reflect on the week before.
These days happen sparingly, and I enjoy them when they do, but I find myself battling a lump of guilt in my chest that threatens to darken my mind. I feel guilty for "wasting" a whole day. To avoid this feeling, I must remember this week's motivational quote. Even if I take a day off from exercising, I have to be doing something that pushes me toward my ultimate goals. Even if it's something as small as planning my meals for the next week, I have to do something that is beneficial to me in the long run.
I suggest you do the same. At the end of the day, reflect on what you accomplished that day. If your biggest accomplishment was "finding the right channel to watch Stargate before the episode started" then maybe you need to re-evaluate your goals and what you're doing to meet them. Otherwise, add up the small accomplishments throughout the day and they will add up to one big accomplishment: Getting a few inches closer to your goal.
If I can do it, so can you!
day thirty-seven: new way of keeping track!
I enjoy writing daily blogs here on Happy Healthy Gina, but on some days, I don't have much to report and writing out the Daily Stats of what I've eaten and the exercise I've done has also become tedious and isn't all that important to this blog. This blog is more a place to store thoughts, methods, and motivations. I use this blog to express what I'm thinking and whether or not a particular activity is helping or hindering me on my journey.
That being typed, I still think that keeping daily track of my activities is motivating because I have to write down and admit to at least myself what I did or didn't do or what I ate or didn't eat that day. I can also look back and see a physical declaration of the work I've put into this whole charade. Luck struck me this afternoon, when a perfectly adequate and internet-independent way of keeping track of my exercise and eating literally fell at my feet.
I was cleaning off the window sills in my apartment (one is used for a bookshelf and the other holds phone books and also kitchen knick knacks) when a stack of books I was lifting off the shelf went crashing to the floor. The logo for the Biggest Loser television show jumped out at me and I scooped up three different books. One was a weight loss tracker, in which you record your daily caloric (as well as trans fats, saturated fats, sodium, and more) intake and also your exercise routine for that day. It was also full of tips and tricks and outlined the Biggest Loser program. It even had a button on the front that could be pushed and it spoke motivational phrases and stories to you from the cast of the Biggest Loser.
It was really cool, and had a lot of good information in it, but the book itself is far too big and bulky to carry around on a daily basis, and plus I haven't been tracking calories and sodium and all that bullocks. I've just been eating less and making sure the majority of my food is fresh fruits and vegetables. When I get too much into numbers and measuring, I lose track of where I'm going and just get caught up in measuring things. Eventually I stop doing it because I get tired of measuring out servings every time I want to eat a meal.
The other book was a recipe book that's now sitting next to my stove and has a lot of tasty-sounding and healthy recipes in it that I will certainly have to try.
The last Biggest Loser item I had sitting on my shelf is the one I'm most excited about and am already using. It's a Meal and Exercise Planner. My only issue is that it will run out rather quickly. I think it's only a month's worth of pages. I wonder if I can buy just the little planner, because it's the perfect size to tuck into my purse and give just the right amount of room to jot down what exercising I did and what meals I ate throughout the day. Here are some pics:
(Ignore my terrible nail polish. I meant to remove that polish and repaint my nails today, but I was busy all the way up until I had to leave for work.)
The Biggest Loser allows for three meals and two snacks throughout the day, but I usually only have time for two meals, three when I can, and one snack. So I ignore the extra snack slot because I'm not awake enough hours in the day to eat all of that food. The amount I eat now is just right for me. I don't get hungry and I feel full throughout the day. I'm going to be working on making sure to fit breakfast into my schedule, which means going to bed earlier so that I can rise earlier.
(I'd hate to blame my man for this, but usually if he's around, I tend to stay up later after work. But that can no longer be accepted as an excuse! So if you read this, babe... I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP! lololol Just kidding, talking to you is the best part of my day.)
Basically, I'm super excited about this planner, I know it will serve me very very well and this week has been going so swimmingly! Even though this morning I didn't get to work out, I did clean my apartment and take all the books off my bookshelf. It may not have been heart pumping cardio, but I wasn't sitting on my ass playing Sims 3, so I don't count it as a wasted morning.
Tonight I'm going to try the Biggest Loser Power Sculpt DVD for the first time, and I'm really excited about it. There are weights in the gym here at work, and a TV, so I'm all set!
P.S. I had such a delicious lunch today, made one of my favorite meals ever: a chicken-stuffed bell pepper! It had mushrooms, onions, garlic, salsa, and chicken in it with a little cheddar cheese on top. It was so delicious!
That being typed, I still think that keeping daily track of my activities is motivating because I have to write down and admit to at least myself what I did or didn't do or what I ate or didn't eat that day. I can also look back and see a physical declaration of the work I've put into this whole charade. Luck struck me this afternoon, when a perfectly adequate and internet-independent way of keeping track of my exercise and eating literally fell at my feet.
I was cleaning off the window sills in my apartment (one is used for a bookshelf and the other holds phone books and also kitchen knick knacks) when a stack of books I was lifting off the shelf went crashing to the floor. The logo for the Biggest Loser television show jumped out at me and I scooped up three different books. One was a weight loss tracker, in which you record your daily caloric (as well as trans fats, saturated fats, sodium, and more) intake and also your exercise routine for that day. It was also full of tips and tricks and outlined the Biggest Loser program. It even had a button on the front that could be pushed and it spoke motivational phrases and stories to you from the cast of the Biggest Loser.
It was really cool, and had a lot of good information in it, but the book itself is far too big and bulky to carry around on a daily basis, and plus I haven't been tracking calories and sodium and all that bullocks. I've just been eating less and making sure the majority of my food is fresh fruits and vegetables. When I get too much into numbers and measuring, I lose track of where I'm going and just get caught up in measuring things. Eventually I stop doing it because I get tired of measuring out servings every time I want to eat a meal.
The other book was a recipe book that's now sitting next to my stove and has a lot of tasty-sounding and healthy recipes in it that I will certainly have to try.
The last Biggest Loser item I had sitting on my shelf is the one I'm most excited about and am already using. It's a Meal and Exercise Planner. My only issue is that it will run out rather quickly. I think it's only a month's worth of pages. I wonder if I can buy just the little planner, because it's the perfect size to tuck into my purse and give just the right amount of room to jot down what exercising I did and what meals I ate throughout the day. Here are some pics:
The Biggest Loser allows for three meals and two snacks throughout the day, but I usually only have time for two meals, three when I can, and one snack. So I ignore the extra snack slot because I'm not awake enough hours in the day to eat all of that food. The amount I eat now is just right for me. I don't get hungry and I feel full throughout the day. I'm going to be working on making sure to fit breakfast into my schedule, which means going to bed earlier so that I can rise earlier.
(I'd hate to blame my man for this, but usually if he's around, I tend to stay up later after work. But that can no longer be accepted as an excuse! So if you read this, babe... I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP! lololol Just kidding, talking to you is the best part of my day.)
Basically, I'm super excited about this planner, I know it will serve me very very well and this week has been going so swimmingly! Even though this morning I didn't get to work out, I did clean my apartment and take all the books off my bookshelf. It may not have been heart pumping cardio, but I wasn't sitting on my ass playing Sims 3, so I don't count it as a wasted morning.
Tonight I'm going to try the Biggest Loser Power Sculpt DVD for the first time, and I'm really excited about it. There are weights in the gym here at work, and a TV, so I'm all set!
P.S. I had such a delicious lunch today, made one of my favorite meals ever: a chicken-stuffed bell pepper! It had mushrooms, onions, garlic, salsa, and chicken in it with a little cheddar cheese on top. It was so delicious!
Monday, May 16, 2011
day thirty-six: weekly exercise schedule
I've decided to make a checklist of sorts for my weekly exercise schedule. Basically, I list the days of the week, and all the exercise routines I like to do. At the beginning of the week, I highlight the routines I seek to do at certain times on certain days. As the week goes on, I'll simply circle in pen which ones I did, whether it ended up being the highlighted ones or not.
The reason I'm not scheduling them in absolute stone is because some routines, such as going for a walk or jog, depends on the weather. If the weather is good, I'm going to go outside and walk/jog rather than stay inside and ride the exercise bike or do a workout DVD. So tentative to the weather, and also what I feel like doing that day (I may get bored with a DVD and so switch to doing stair runs at work or something similar), I am scheduling my workouts to the best of my ability.
Here's what the schedule looks like:
I also leave a blank space on each day in case something changes or I come up with something new that I want to do that day. I have to keep my routines fresh and new each week or else I get bored.
The reason I'm not scheduling them in absolute stone is because some routines, such as going for a walk or jog, depends on the weather. If the weather is good, I'm going to go outside and walk/jog rather than stay inside and ride the exercise bike or do a workout DVD. So tentative to the weather, and also what I feel like doing that day (I may get bored with a DVD and so switch to doing stair runs at work or something similar), I am scheduling my workouts to the best of my ability.
Here's what the schedule looks like:
And after I've highlighted this week's workout choices:
Fast Food Breakdown
This morning I was checking my bank account balances, as people do, and I decided to flip back a few pages through my spending history and see what I used to spend so much money on, and the answer surprised me. I knew I was eating out a lot more than I should have been. I was aware of that fact. But seeing the numbers and the actual monetary amounts I was spending on the "convenience" and "easiness" of fast food amazed and sickened me. No wonder I was sliding into the realms of unhealthy obesity at an alarming rate... I was eating enough fast food to feed a whole family in a single day!
Here's an example of a few sections of my bank statement reflecting the fast food I was eating on a daily basis.
There were plenty of days where I would eat at two different restaurants on the same day! Now, I know that debit card transactions don't always go through on the day they actually occurred, but I know I was eating at different restaurants on the same day. My days literally consisted of sleeping until an hour before work, rolling my gelatanous ass out of bed, showering, and then grabbing lunch on the way to work. Four hours later, at dinnertime, I would leave work and go to a different restaurant, or sometimes even the same restaurant, for dinner. Then I would come home and eat a meal right before bed from my refrigerator.
I just didn't care, I was out of control. I couldn't see anything beyond the wrapped fast food in front of my face as I was choking it down. Looking back, I can't believe I let myself get to that place. Not only for my health's sake, but for my wallet's sake. I was throwing away money as fast as I could eat those Big Macs and Subway sandwiches. I was handing over my hard-earned cash to gain pounds of fat on my body.
Never again. Eating out is a terrible thing, not when I can make cheaper and healthier foods right here at home. Food that makes me feel good after eating it, food that doesn't give me a quick sugar rush and then a devastating crash twenty minutes later, food that is filling and satisfying and that adds to my body's nutrients and needs. Food that is meant to be eaten, not food that is wrapped in paper, thrown in a bag, and shoveled down my throat while I drive to work. There was no love and attention put into that food, there is nothing valuable or nutritious in that food.
Seeing this drove the point home for me. What I am doing is a complete change from where I was, and I know I can't and won't go back to that place. It wasn't good for me, my body, my environment, my finances, or my well-being. I'm saddened that I didn't see that fault in where I was much sooner, but at least I am doing better now.
I've come a long way and have a long way to go, but I'm not turning back.
Here's an example of a few sections of my bank statement reflecting the fast food I was eating on a daily basis.
There were plenty of days where I would eat at two different restaurants on the same day! Now, I know that debit card transactions don't always go through on the day they actually occurred, but I know I was eating at different restaurants on the same day. My days literally consisted of sleeping until an hour before work, rolling my gelatanous ass out of bed, showering, and then grabbing lunch on the way to work. Four hours later, at dinnertime, I would leave work and go to a different restaurant, or sometimes even the same restaurant, for dinner. Then I would come home and eat a meal right before bed from my refrigerator.
I just didn't care, I was out of control. I couldn't see anything beyond the wrapped fast food in front of my face as I was choking it down. Looking back, I can't believe I let myself get to that place. Not only for my health's sake, but for my wallet's sake. I was throwing away money as fast as I could eat those Big Macs and Subway sandwiches. I was handing over my hard-earned cash to gain pounds of fat on my body.
Never again. Eating out is a terrible thing, not when I can make cheaper and healthier foods right here at home. Food that makes me feel good after eating it, food that doesn't give me a quick sugar rush and then a devastating crash twenty minutes later, food that is filling and satisfying and that adds to my body's nutrients and needs. Food that is meant to be eaten, not food that is wrapped in paper, thrown in a bag, and shoveled down my throat while I drive to work. There was no love and attention put into that food, there is nothing valuable or nutritious in that food.
Seeing this drove the point home for me. What I am doing is a complete change from where I was, and I know I can't and won't go back to that place. It wasn't good for me, my body, my environment, my finances, or my well-being. I'm saddened that I didn't see that fault in where I was much sooner, but at least I am doing better now.
I've come a long way and have a long way to go, but I'm not turning back.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
facing fear and saying, "fuck you!"
It's that time. I've decided to post the dreaded comparison shots. A picture a friend took of me, innocently, at a baseball game back in April, in which I look terrible and the picture makes me want to cry and vomit and scream all at the same time, will be placed side by side with some shots taken today wearing a smaller sized pair of jeans and some Vera Wang leggings.
I'm not sure I'm ready for this, but as I need to realize: this is just the start of the journey. I know I look ten times better already than I did in that April snapshot. It's only going to get better from here on out. I need to show how far I've already come, and give myself and the world a realistic view of this journey I'm taking. There are people I don't want to see these pictures, I barely want to see these pictures, but it's a part of where I was, where I am now, and when I look back a week, a month, a year from now, I'll be able to puff out my chest and smile, epically proud of the ground I've covered and the changes I've made in my life, health, and happiness.
So here goes nothing:
I'm not sure I'm ready for this, but as I need to realize: this is just the start of the journey. I know I look ten times better already than I did in that April snapshot. It's only going to get better from here on out. I need to show how far I've already come, and give myself and the world a realistic view of this journey I'm taking. There are people I don't want to see these pictures, I barely want to see these pictures, but it's a part of where I was, where I am now, and when I look back a week, a month, a year from now, I'll be able to puff out my chest and smile, epically proud of the ground I've covered and the changes I've made in my life, health, and happiness.
So here goes nothing:
Friday, May 13, 2011
day thirty-three: re-evaluating and correcting!
Month Two is going to be a swift kick in the ass: I’m stepping up my workout routines and no longer allowing myself to take mornings off. I’m going back to working out two times a day, at least five days a week, and at least once a day on the weekends.
I’ve been doing so well with planning out my meals every week, that I’m going to make a more detailed workout plan for the weeks as well, this way, I can stick to a plan instead of making it up when the time comes. I find that I let myself be lazy and am not working my muscles as hard as they need to be worked. Exercising has become too easy now, so I have to start pushing myself farther. I know that planning the week’s exercising ahead of time will force me to stick to harder workouts.
My favorite workout routine, besides jogs around the neighborhood and hard running on an elliptical, is the Biggest Loser Cardio Workout DVD. I am not endorsed by them, or anyone, but I must give the show and the trainers on the workout DVDs a shout out. The workouts on that DVD push me to the limit, sweat pours off me every time, and I feel great after doing them. When the first level gets too easy, you bump it up to level two, and then level three. It’s designed to be a six week program, and I’ve lost over forty pounds before using just that DVD according to its instructions (work out 5-6 times a week, doing two weeks on each level).
This time around, I’ve been using the DVD sparingly, and only when I really want to sweat because it makes me work hard. I ordered the Power Sculpt edition of the Biggest Loser Workout and I can’t wait to receive it in the mail. I should be getting it on Tuesday, and will be adding it into my workout routines. Alongside cardio, I have to sculpt and tone my body, so I don’t end up with excess flab or skin. I want to be toned and lean and fit, and I know using these two DVD workouts will get me there.
I also use Jackie Warner’s workout DVD, and that’s a very good DVD as well. She utilizes a circuit training technique to sculpt your body, and I like her style. She focuses a lot on form, and spends extra time making sure the form of her moves is understood and carried out correctly. I like that, because sometimes I may think I am doing the moves correctly, but then when I try again and I do EXACTLY as the trainer says, I’ll feel a whole different muscle being worked and realize I wasn’t doing it right the first time.
So Month Two will begin detailed planning of my meals for the week AND my workouts for the week. I’m also working on getting a lot more fresh fruits and vegetables into my diet. If I have to go to the store three times a week, I will, just to be able to put some fresh fruits and vegetables into my diet. I deviate from these plans every so often, according to what I want to eat, or if I spend time with friends or family, but for the most part, I stick to them. I make sure not to eat out (have only done so twice in the last 30+ days) or snack beyond my allotted snack between lunch and dinner (which is always a fresh fruit or a fiber bar).
To sum up Month Two’s changes from Month One:
- Harder workouts, twice a day Monday through Friday, and once a day Saturday and Sunday.
- More fresh vegetables and fresh fruits in my diet.
- Plan workouts like I’ve been planning weekly meal lists. Continue with weekly meal lists.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
day thirty-one: huzzah, the schedule is back!
So jury duty is finally over, the trial is finished, the verdict is in. The main reason I’m excited about this (because, really, I kind of enjoyed doing jury duty instead of going to work for two days and I enjoyed seeing the world before noon and seeing sunlight after “work”) but it was disheartening to forfeit my carefully planned eating schedule and workout habits for two days. It felt like an eternity passed and I was itching to get back into my routine again.
This is too much information, but I'm sure you're figured out by now that I’m never sparing in that department, but even my bowel movements were starting to become erratic and strange. On my schedule, I pretty much know when they are coming and what they will consist of, as strange as that may sound. I missed that, I didn’t like my world being turned pretty much opposite of normal. But now, I’m back into the daily grind, and although jury duty was a great experience, I’m intensely happy to be able to get back into the swing of things.
I’m going grocery shopping tonight, and I only have to pick up a handful of items for this week’s meal schedule. Granted, there are only two more working days and then the weekend left to this week, but I’m quite happy that I have only to buy a few things to make decent meals for those four days. I’m especially looking forward to the homemade pineapple and ham pizza I’m making on Saturday evening. I’ve been craving pizza, and I think making one myself will be slightly healthier than one from a restaurant, and I happen to have all the ingredients already to make it, save for the crust and sauce.
No fresh veggies, really, this week, but I’ve had an abundance of them the last few weeks. Next week, I will make sure to find more vegetable-heavy recipes to fit fresh, or at least grilled, vegetables into my meals. I try to find a good balance of a fresh fruit and a vegetable and a meat per day. The rest of this week sees no fresh vegetables, which is not a good thing, I know, but I need to get some of the frozen foods out of my fridge and also to use up the bread and eggs that could possibly go bad and be wasted. I’d hate to buy a bunch of fresh vegetables and ignore things that need to be eaten due to quickly approaching expiration dates, and then have to throw a bunch of wasted food away.
Plus, my fresh vegetable recipes are pretty scarce at the moment, relying mostly on grilled shish kabobs and stir fry dishes. My stuffed bell pepper recipe is amazing, but those three dishes are my main fresh vegetable staples. I’m no good at making salads, I wish I knew ways to put them together better, but I will become better at it with practice and with eating them more.
I need to find more recipes, though, so I don’t get tired of eating the same variations on a few recipes every week. It’s just intimidating sometimes to try whole new recipes, especially if they call for a spice or something that you have to buy a large quantity of (say, brown sugar) and you know you won’t use that particular ingredient in anything else for a long, long time. I don’t have a lot of cabinet space, so buying spices and sugars and other ingredients takes up room I don’t have. So I need to search for easy recipes that use fresh vegetables to add to my recipe folder, but that won't force me to buy too many new spices and other "extras" that I don't have room to store. That is my mission.
Day Thirty-One Stats:
Wake Up: 11:30 AM
Breakfast: Yogurt
Lunch: Baked potato with butter, salsa, ham, and cheddar cheese
Snack: Special K bar
Exercise: 26 minutes on elliptical with Arm Blaster mode
Dinner: Roast Beef Melt and potato salad from McAlister’s Deli (I got a five dollar gift certificate from work and was planning on Subway anyway because I didn’t have anything at home to bring for dinner).
My meal plan for the week:
Month One Review: April 11 - May 11
Today marks one month since I’ve taken that first tentative but determined step to becoming a happier, healthier me. I can’t give you a number of pounds lost, because that’s not what this is about. I can’t say I’ve gone down a pants’ size, because that’s not what this is about. I can’t say I’ve lost so many inches on my waist, because that’s not what this is about. I can’t say whether my body mass index has changed, because that’s not what this is about.
And since that is not what this is about, I haven’t kept track of any of those things. I am only tracking what I do, and whether or not it makes me feel happier or healthier. I know health is generally measured by people who’ve spent quite a few years going through higher education and can now wear the white lab coats and prescribe medications for whatever ails their patients. I don’t visit doctors; never have, so I can’t relay their opinion of my changing body, mind, and spirit. I can only share how I feel, what I think, how successful I find myself, and my will to keep going or to change my methods.
I’m here and proud to proclaim: I HAVE MADE IT A MONTH, I WILL MAKE IT A WHOLE LIFETIME LONGER.
This is not a diet that I’ll do for a few months, lose some weight, then go right back to the way I was. This is not a rigorous bout of exercise that I’ll do for a few months, lose some weight, then go right back to the way I was. This is a lifestyle change, this is a new way of looking at life and of living my life.
I’m never going to look the way I did a month ago ever again in my life. I’m never going to feel content with hating myself on a daily basis ever again in my life. I’m never going back to that place or that time ever again in my life. I refuse to let myself down, it will not happen.
So I’ll stop and admire this one-month-mark much like a family on vacation stops and admires the biggest ball of yarn as they pass it on the highway. It is significant, it is a big deal, but no one really knows why we have to stop and take pictures in front of it. But I suppose it is nice to know I’ve made it this far without stopping or giving up. But this isn’t even the beginning. I have a whole lifetime of happy, healthy living ahead of me.
I still have habits to break, cravings to ignore, motivation to find, and milestones to reach. I still have every day that I wake up to make happy and healthy decisions for that day. I just have to keep on going, can’t stop and smell the yarn for too long!
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