day five: the world moves on

I feel like I've accomplished so much in this week, but another part of me wonders if I've really accomplished much at all. No one seems to have noticed anything. I know I haven't really dropped any weight, and I'm miserable at work because I'm so fed up with a co-worker, but for some reason, I'm yearning for some outside notice and praise. I just wish someone could say, "Oh, have you been working out? You look thinner!" or "Wow, you have a lot of energy lately, you seem happier!" But no.

I know, I know, I'm just being impatient. It's only been five days, why am I expecting so much to have changed in that time? By the end of next week, I'm sure the changes will start to become noticeable. But what will tide me over until then? What will stop me from saying, "Oh God, this is taking so long, Taco Bell sounds so delicious right now, and so does sleeping through the weekend..."

I will stop myself. I have to do this. If I let myself down again, what else is there left for me to do? Just let myself get fatter and fatter until my only mode of transportation is sea? And not on a boat, either, I mean floating in the sea because it's the only place I can fit.

That's not the life for me. I want to be healthy, I want to be at a weight where I can feel good about myself, have energy, wear clothes I'd want to wear, be proud of my body and how it looks. I want that, I need it, and I'm the only one who can make it happen.

So I'm not giving up. Oh no no no. I do not take days off until outside circumstances force me to. I know workout guides suggest you work out five, maybe six times a week, and usually have at least one day off. But not me. Not until this whole schedule is a total habit, one that I don't have to think about, a routine that just happens. When it becomes a part of me, then perhaps I can take a free day on a Sunday afternoon and catch up on some DVR'd television shows. When I have to buy smaller pants and shirts, maybe then I can take a day's break.

But I won't let myself slip into those detrimental habits of laziness until I've reached a significant change in my body, mind, and attitude. Every day that I rationalize laying in bed an extra hour, or watching television instead of doing a cardio workout, the harder it is to get to the workout the next day. So I won't even let that start!

I'm going strong, and I'm not quitting! I won't let myself down! This weight is coming off, whether it wants to or not!

Day Five Stats
Wake Up: 12 PM
Breakfast: Strawberry Whipped Yoplait Yogurt, banana, water
Lunch: Two grilled cheese sandwiches (wheat bread, two slices of sharp cheddar cheese) and tomato soup and water
Snack: Applesauce
Exercise: 2 minutes bike, stretches, 15 minutes elliptical, 20 crunches, stretches
Dinner: Spaghetti
Bedtime: 3 AM