Not fun at all, but has to be done.

I absolutely detest, as anyone with a weight loss goal in mind would, bringing myself down a few notches and facing reality. The truth is, since my last entry, I haven't worked out regularly like I've been meant to, I've been eating fast food quite a lot, and I'm letting my eating schedule get out of hand. My muffin top hovers ever-so-mightily between me and victory and it mocks me from every angle in the mirror. I'm three weeks into this fall's semester, and my well-meaning plans have petered out in the name of convenience and time constraints.

In many ways, I've been lazy about my goals. But in some ways, I can point fingers at my tight schedule as bring partially responsible. However, on the weekends when I have absolutely nothing to do, I'm still choosing to do less productive things than exercise and make meals for the rest of the week. I've let myself down so quickly, and I'm thoroughly discouraged.

So I've decided to make a new list of reasons to lose weight. My motivations may have changed some from my last list, and I want to put my priorities right here in front of my face to further motivate me to push past this barrier I've erected before myself before I've even truly gotten started...

I'll start with number five and work my way up to number one, with number one being the most important reason why I need to lose weight. List below the cut! :)

Day Sixteen: School!

So the Fall Semester has started. I'm determined to stay on track. I haven't had time to work out twice a day, but I'm definitely fitting in at least one workout a day, no excuses (unless a really big homework assignment comes up). I had every intention of working out in the gym tonight, but I had to read a few chapters for my two classes tomorrow so I couldn't. However, I did work out this morning before school so I don't feel so terrible.

Day Fifteen Stats:
Wake Up: 9 AM
Breakfast: Life cereal with 1% milk
Exercise: Biggest Loser Power Sculpt level 1
Lunch: ham sandwich on wheat with mayo and mustard, tortilla chips and salsa
Snack: cheez-itz mini bag, black grapes, sweet chili quakers rice cakes, nutty delight special k bar, banana (not all at once, spread out throughout the day to stave off any hunger pangs)
Dinner: chicken curry and brown rice

Day Fifteen: Time Flies When You're Having Fun! :)

I know I've skipped a few days of posting stats, but I've been pretty busy. That being said, I haven't slacked on my exercising and eating schedule habits, au contraire! I have held to my promise of not eating fast food, skipping sodas, and working out every day. (I have yet to fit in TWO workouts a day, but I at least have fit in one a day).

Day Fifteen Stats:

Wake Up: 9 AM
Breakfast: cup of strawberry milk and yogurt
Lunch: ham sandwich on wheat bread with provolone cheese, mustard, lettuce, and tomato with black grapes and one mini bag of Cheez-itz
Snack: Special K Nutty Delight Bar (MY NEW OBSESSION. They are so good!)
Exercise: 30 mins elliptical, 2.4 miles, 315 calories burned
Dinner: Progresso chicken noodle soup, Quakers Rice Cakes (sweet chili flavor), applesauce

I haven't weighed myself since Day Ten, and I don't plan on doing so until the end of the week. I find that weighing myself TOO often gets very discouraging very quickly. I can feel my clothes becoming more loose on my frame, I can tell my muscles feel tighter, I don't NEED to step on a scale to know I'm still making progress. As an impatient human being, I know that the pounds refusing to melt away day after day will make me want to give up. And I just can't let that happen, not this time. So I'm staying off the scale, perhaps measuring myself every week or every other week.

Also, as a side note, I have discovered a fantastic podcast to work out to: We're Alive. It's a podcast chronicling the survival stories of a group of people suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, centering around a young Army Sergeant. It's fantastically written, fantastically acted, and the quality of the sound effects and editing is sublime. I found my feet pounding along on the elliptical as if the zombies in my ears were coming out to get me! It was a fun way to work out and it kept my eyes away from the clock and the time on the elliptical just flew by, before I knew it, the machine was signalling time for my cooldown and I hadn't had time to sigh heavily and wonder when was this little slice of hell going to end!? So I highly recommend this podcast for any horror/zombie/apocalypse fans, and especially for those fans who also need some fuel for their workouts. This podcast will make any time on the treadmill, elliptical, bike, or road highly tolerable and even enjoyable... you'll want to keep running so you can start the next episode and find out what happens next! :)

Day Ten: Lost Two Pounds!

Stats:
Wake-up: 1 PM (I KNOW, I KNOW, TERRIBLE!)
Breakfast: yogurt
Lunch: none
Snack: banana, chocolate covered almonds
Dinner: bison chili and peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread

Alright, so I stepped on the scale this afternoon and I've lost two pounds! Woo! I've also noticed my pants are fitting a bit more loosely, I have to keep tugging them up here and there. This is exciting! Once the pounds start coming off, it provides more motivation to keep moving forward! :) I'm excited about this leg of the race. I have support, I have drive, I have energy, I have everything I need to accomplish my goals! :)

3 Fat Chicks on a Diet

I have mentioned this website before, I think, and I just have to bring it up again. 3fatchicks.com seems to be a great website for weight loss tips and inspiration. I have to admit, the only thing I have looked at for any length of time is the Goals section of the Forum. Here is where members of the 3fatchicks.com forum post their weight loss success in picture format. They'll post their beginning picture alongside their current picture to show how much weight they've lost. And there are some real heroes on that forum, people who have lost 300+ pounds!!! There's nothing more inspiring to me than to see those pictures and know that I'm headed toward that same achievement, shedding pounds that are doing nothing but holding me back and putting my health in danger...

I can't wait to post my Goal photos!

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal-photo-album-200/

Check out the photo album if you're running low on motivation, it will surely kick you into gear! :)

Day Nine: Working Out!

Stats:
Wake Up: 11:30 AM
Breakfast: bowl of Life cereal with Skim milk
Lunch: grilled sandwich with portabello mushroom, roasted red peppers, lite mayo, and paprika on wheat bread
Exercise: Biggest Loser Cardio DVD Level One
Snack: Special K
Exercise: 30 mins elliptical
Dinner:

Today I feel alright. I made the mistake of staying up late because I felt like watching The Full Monty... so instead of my usual 2:30 AM bedtime, I was up until after 3:30 AM. So I ended up sleeping in, which if you haven't noticed, has become a bad habit, the only one I haven't managed to break thus far. I'm sticking to my eating schedule, I'm avoiding eating fast food, no sodas, etc. But sleeping in is something I haven't managed to completely give up yet. :( However, school starts on Monday and I'll HAVE to get up early in order to make it to class... so that's a positive aspect of the semester starting! :)

Day Eight: We'll Pretend the Weekend Didn't Happen :P

Day Eight Stats:
Wake Up: 9 AM
Breakfast: banana
Exercise: 1 hour clogdancing
Lunch: 2 bowls of Life cereal
Snack: Special K
Exercise: 40 mins elliptical
Dinner: Progressive chicken noodle with vegetables soup and cheese crackers

So I was just talking to my bestie on the phone and she asked how much weight I had lost so far. I admitted that I hadn't stepped on the scale since I began working out. I hopped on the scale, excited to see 265.5 reading on the scale's face since I had assumed my start weight was 267 pounds. Well, looking back through my blog entries, I stand corrected because my starting weight was 265.5. So I haven't lost (OR GAINED, that is definitely important) a single pound. But, it's only been five days since my first weigh-in.

But I'm definitely not discouraged. I'm happy I haven't gained anything. It shows that I'm working out enough to maintain my body weight, so now I need to step it up and definitely get in two workouts a day like I had originally planned so that I can start burning instead of maintaining. I've been through this before. I know the scale moves slowly, but as long as it's moving downward and not upward, I know to rejoice, even in the smallest changes on the scale.

Especially at the very, very beginning. Your body has to build muscle at first, and muscle weighs more than fat does. So sometimes, it can even look like one is gaining weight, when in fact, your body is just strengthening itself to be able to handle your hard, sweaty workouts. I know my body feels tighter already, especially my upper thighs. I know this is a good sign and that I won't let the scale's stubbornness get me down. I have to be just as stubborn and keep pushing ahead so these muscles I'm building can start working to burn off the excess fat on my body.

So I'm feeling good! I fell off the track a bit this weekend with my eating, but this is a new week, my last week before school starts to solidify my daily eating schedule and daily exercise routines. When they become habit, they'll be a lot easier to fit in to my school schedule. I can't let school be an excuse like I did the last time I was in school... I just have to adjust, stay strong, and maintain motivation. I got this! :)

Day Five: Sore Muscles

Today's Stats:

Wake Up: 11 AM (QUIT HITTING THAT SNOOZE BUTTON, FOOL!)
Breakfast: Like cereal with skim milk
Lunch: 6inch veggie sub on Italian bread from Subway, banana, water
Snack: chocolate cupcake, cup of pineapples
Dinner: chicken stir fry wth brown rice, chocolate cupcake for dessert
(It was cupcake day at work, so I literally had people shoving cupcakes in my face. Not an excuse, but I also haven't eaten sweets all week, so breaking for two little cupcakes isn't a big deal.)

No exercising today, but that's because I had to run errands before work and then work was super busy, so I had to stay at my desk on my lunch break to make sure the machines kept running.

My glutes are in a lot of pain right now, but my butt already feels tighter after only a few days of working out. That's my biggest happiness about working out, the perkier booty. Of course I love the tighter thigh muscles and smaller stomach, but for some reason I really love being aware of the muscle definition in my butt (I guess because when I'm NOT working out on a regular schedule I literally have NO ass, it feels nice to know there's a little definition forming in the trunk department, LOL).

This weekend will be a test of will seeing as without a work schedule to stick to, I'll be very tempted to sleep in even longer than 11 AM, but I MUST force myself out of bed and into my workout gear. The momentum CAN'T slow down now, I'm doing so well! :)

Day Four: Just Keep Going

Wake Up: 11 AM
Breakfast: bowl of Cinnamon Life cereal with 2% milk
Workout: Biggest Loser Cardio Max Level 1
Lunch: Turkey wrap with cream cheese, lettuce, red peppers
Snack: Banana
Workout: 30 min elliptical
Dinner: chicken stir fry with brown rice

I can already see elements of my old self trying desperately to break through my surge of motivation. I still sleep two hours past my 9 AM alarm. I still am not putting my 100% effort into my workouts. Sure, I'm sweating, my heart rate is up, but I know I can lunge deeper and jump higher than I am. I'm cashing in in some ways.

But I seem to be forgetting something: I'm starting over. I'm not going to be at the same fitness level I was eight months and twenty pounds ago. I've gained weight, I've lost muscle tone. I'm not as far back as where I started in April of last year, but I'm definitely quite a few laps back from where I was in the race last August. But I can't get discouraged as I realize this fact. I have to keep pushing, I have to keep moving forward.

I can't lose momentum. My life is hanging in the balance! I need this for me. I don't want to remain miserable and self-loathing well into my thirties and forties. Instead I'm going to spend my twenties kicking my ass into shape so my late twenties, thirties, and forties can be great years to revel in my personal health and happiness seeking success. :) 

Biggest Loser Last Chance Workout Monday Routine: A Review

I've been a big fan (pun intended) of the Biggest Loser workout DVDs ever since I discovered the fat-melting, muscle-toning magic of the Biggest Loser Cardio Max DVD. Combined with the Biggest Loser Power Sculpt DVD, I lost over fifty pounds and my muscles were toned.

I decided to expand my Biggest Loser workout library with two more DVDs: Last Chance Workout and 30- Day Jump Start. Today, I did the Last Chance Workout for the first time and I'm going to go over what I thought of the workout.

I've never watched the Biggest Loser television show. I know what the premise is, and I'm supportive of the contestants meeting their weight loss goals, but I've never actually tuned in to catch an episode. The workouts came to me after some Google research to see what the best workout DVDs were for truly overweight people who needed to shed some pounds in a safe, effective manner. Biggest Loser workout DVDs kept popping up in all my searches, so I selected Cardio Max to begin with, knowing that cardio really melts the fat. I added the Power Sculpt DVD a few months later to help tone my muscles after my workout tolerance was piqued with the Cardio Max DVD.

After branching off into the Last Chance Workout DVD, I have to say, I'll be going back to Cardio Max and Power Sculpt from here on out. I think Last Chance Workout is intended for those who are most of the way to their workout goals, but just need an extra push to shed another pound or two, or need a shake-up in their routine. I don't have that satisfied feeling at the end of the Monday routine on Last Chance Workout that I do when I do the Cardio Max or Power Sculpt workouts. Last Chance Workout takes you through six circuits which consist of 30 second intervals of cardio moves, then 30 seconds of strength moves. This is a Jillian Michaels staple, one that I utilized quite well with her 30 Day Shred DVD (not associated with the Biggest Loser franchise, but an excellent workout DVD just the same).

I used Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred when I was several months into my workout regime last year and it hit all the right spots, shaking up my routine and waking up and wearing out muscles that had gotten used to the moves in the Cardio Max and Power Sculpt DVDs I was using up to that point. I think that is how Last Chance Workout will better benefit me, if I start using it a few months into my exercising rather than right now at the beginning. Those thirty second circuits, while keeping me from being bored, don't give me enough time to truly get the full effect of the workout.

If you're a beginner, I highly recommend the Cardio Max and Power Sculpt Biggest Loser DVDs first, then the Last Chance Workout later, after you're able to get through the three levels on the CM and PS. Its not that CM and PS are easier than the LCW, they just utilize longer circuits, so when you have to stop for breath before picking a move back up again, you still have a little bit to get back into the move rather than the DVD already moving on to another move. LCW moves too quickly for beginners, in my opinion.

You will stop to take breaths when you start out, you won't be able to complete all of the moves on your first, second, or even third try of the workout.The idea is that when the moves become "easy" and you're able to complete them successfully without feeling winded or sore, that's about the time you move up to the next level where you're going to be winded and sore all over again with new, harder moves. The problem with LCW is that it didn't give me a chance to feel winded and sore because when I had to stop for breath, I missed a move and half of the next one.

So, again, I would definitely recommend beginners who enjoy DVD workouts (and even if you think you don't, give the Biggest Loser workouts a try) I highly recommend the Biggest Loser Cardio Max and Biggest Loser Power Sculpt DVDs, then moving on to the Last Chance Workout and Jillian Micheal's 30-Day Shred after you've made it through the 6 week program for CM and PS.

Can't Wait!

I'm just so excited, I can't WAIT to walk into a store and know that I can fit the clothes they have there.

I can't WAIT to stand in front of a mirror with a smile on my face, knowing that I look good.

I can't WAIT to accept compliments from co-workers, family, and friends, because I know I"ve worked hard and deserve the positive feedback instead of thinking they are just "being nice".

I can't WAIT to feel like I deserve the amazingly attractive man I'm dating because I, too, will feel amazingly attractive.

I can't WAIT to wake up and just feel good to be awake and starting a new day.

I can't WAIT to feel that rush of adrenaline when I step on the scale and see that, yes, I DID IT.

I can't WAIT to sit in the desks at school and not worry that it's going to collapse beneath me and/or that my body hangs off the edges of the seat.

I can't WAIT to be able to run faster, jump higher, and exercise harder with a smile on my face because it feels so good.

I can't WAIT to wear my favorite outfits again.

I can't WAIT to feel my stomach turn in disgust when someone suggests eating fast food.

I can't WAIT to be able to wear sexy lingerie.

I can't WAIT to spend less money on clothes that are much cuter than the plus size clothes.

I can't WAIT to not have jelly rolls and back fat and armpit fat and ugh.

I can't WAIT to feel sexy again, in and out of clothes. 

I can't WAIT to succeed. 

For further motivation, http://pinterest.com/dreamngina/fitness-inspiration-and-motivation/

First Weigh-In and Start Up Pictures

This blog is a big motivator for me to struggle onward with this journey. So it's here that I will share my thoughts, goals, and pounds lost as I move forward to a happier and healthy life.

I did my first weigh-in this morning before breakfast.
Starting Weight (August 15, 2012): 265.5 pounds

Here are my "before" pictures, taken at my gym on August 13, 2012.

Here I go! :)

Day Three: I'm Feeling Good!

I'm sticking to my guns so far, and I'm feeling great! I've craved soda, but grabbed the water bottle instead. I've wanted to eat right before bed, have my usual bowl of cereal or sandwich before climbing underneath the covers, but I reached for a water bottle instead. (I'm not saying that water cures all cravings, but it fills my tummy in those two situations.) I've managed to stay away from sweets for the most part (except for one break yesterday with a rogue strawberry Pop Tart).

I've worked out the past two days on my break at work, and that felt great. Today, with no errands to run before work, I plan on doing a Biggest Loser workout DVD and then tonight at work on my break, doing some walk/light jogging on the treadmill. I want results and I want them fast (but not TOO fast). Working out twice a day and eating less has been the only way I've found to achieve that goal. I hear all the time about miracle diets, appetizer depressant pills, etc. but I don't buy into that stuff. Hard work, motivation, and drive are what I had to endure to drop the pounds before. I didn't keep all those pounds off because I stopped working hard. Plain and simple. It wasn't a failure in my methods, it was a failure in me. I quit on myself.

But I'm at the point in my life where I pick myself up, acknowledge my failure, but use it as fuel to push me even farther. I'm tired of starting over, so I need to go straight through to the finish line!

Today's Stats:


Wake Up: 11 AM
Breakfast: two pieces of wheat toast with butter and peach preserves, key lime pie whips yogurt, water
Work Out: Last Chance Biggest Loser Workout Level One
Lunch: salad (lettuce/onions/bell peppers/grilled chicken/shredded cheddar cheese/tomato basil vinaigrette), water
Snack: cup of pineapple chunks

Dinner: two tuna sandwiches with mayo and an applesauce, water

FINALLY!

It's strange how this sudden change of mood always seems to come out of nowhere. One minute I'm avoiding the scale on my kitchen floor, carefully walking around it and not looking directly at it, while treating mirrors in my house much the same way. I dodge away from the flashbulbs of cameras and feel horrified at the results of stealthy photographers who do manage to capture my likeness on film. I'm eating terrible food constantly, and sitting around my house doing absolutely nothing with all my free time.

Then something happens, and like a switch was flipped on within me, I'm shoved into a motivated streak that has me racing toward my finish line, full of fresh energy and resilience. Its hard to put a finger on, but something within me is finally tired of being down on myself and losing all the leadway I had made for myself last year. I lost over fifty pounds last year! I've gained nearly all of it back, but why? Why did I stop my healthy habits and sink back into these embarassing and deadly ones?

I can't answer that question, I can't place my finger on it. Laziness is probably the most obvious. But today something clicked. I didn't have an exercise partner, I've given up on letting that be my excuse. I didn't have anyone tell ing me I had to exercise, or that I should. I just decided that today was my first day, and I did it. I worked hard, I concentrated, I worked my muscles, I was drenched in sweat, and I felt great.

I. Felt. Great.

I have to remember that, because I know that even in the height of weight loss, it can be hard to step on that treadmill or do those jumping jacks. I have to remember the sense of accomplishment, the rush of adrenaline, the winks in the mirror as I strut into the changing room at the gym after a hard, satisfying workout. How did I forget those feelings? I can't forget again, I simply won't...

This is important.

This is my life.

Things are going well for me in other areas of my life. I have a nice apartment and a job that allows me to afford that apartment. I have a nice car, with a new stereo. I have money for clothes, and healthy food. I have a family who loves me and is there for me however, whenever, and wherever I need them. School starts again soon and that forces me into a schedule, which is only a beneficial aspect of living healthy. The ability to obtain a higher education and a mind that is still able to learn and retain is something I am grateful for and something I look forward to putting to good use once again. My GPA rose a bit from last semester due to really great grades, so that's great. I'm in love, I have a wonderful boyfriend, FINALLY, in my life who supports me and makes me feel like I can take on the world! So there's nothing stopping me now...

Here I go!

My goals are to lose at least sixty pounds by my next birthday (February 7th, 2013) and then an additional forty by May 2013. When I reach those goals, I will reward myself with one of three trips (depending on which is most feasible and expense-appropriate):

1. Cedar Point
2. Disney Land
3. Ireland

My plan for achieving those goals are simple and will become slightly more intricate and challenging as I plod along. At first, I will give up fast food and eating out at restaurants completely, and only getting salads when eating out as a social event. I will not drink sodas or eat excessive sweets. I will eat three meals a day, with a snack in between lunch and dinner. I will make all of my meals. I will work out twice a day, fitting in at least one Biggest Loser workout DVD.

Nothing is going to stand in my way, not even myself. I'm going to live out my twenties as a happy and healthy woman!

Sudden Realization

I fell off the wagon. I'm nearly back to my worst weight. I can line up the infinite amount of excuses and blame time constraints, the weather, Chick-Fil-A's delicious chicken sandwiches, or whatever, but it all boils down to the fact that yet again, I've failed myself.

I have no one to blame but me.

But I've come to that breaking point yet again. My high school reunion was quite recently and of course, many candid photos were taken. These photos opened my eyes to the whale I've allowed myself to become again.

So I have to recover, recuperate, and rejuvenate my efforts to better my lifestyle, better my health, and better my body. I only have this one life, why do I keep allowing myself to squander it? I can't think of a better answer to that question than the obvious and most truthful one: I'm lazy.

The guilt of being so lazy, though, is starting to tip the scale against being lazy. I can't stand myself. I can't stand that outfits I used to love wearing no longer fit. I can't stand that pants that were falling off of me now create a muffin top. I can't stand that I've lost that wonderful, beautiful confidence I was steadily gaining as I lost weight less than a year ago. I'm depressed all the time now, I lack energy and drive to do much of anything. I'm back in that rut from which I had fought so bravely to climb out of before...

But I'm still alive. I'm still able. I have another chance. I have to take it. So here I go!

Things I Learned on My Recent Road Trip

Ø  Letting my boyfriend pick the music during the drive was a pleasant surprise. We have similar tastes in music and I didn’t want to jump out of the moving vehicle to end my audio-fueled misery at any point during the trip, which was a drastic change from past road trip experiences.

Ø  Driving an hour seems like an eternity while simultaneously fighting off the urge to fall asleep from allergy medications. However, as soon as one is a half hour from home, it suddenly feels not-so-impossible.

Ø  The unbearable heat wave is bearable in a car without air conditioning… so long as that vehicle is rolling down the highway at 70 miles per hour with all the windows down. As soon as the car has to slow down or stop, instantly too hot to function.

Ø  I tend to overpack for trips. I was planning on bringing sandwich meat, bread, snacks, and several water bottles in a cooler. We didn’t need any of that and never once did I miss it or wish I had brought it.

Ø There's nothing sweeter then when my boyfriend (A) holds my hand while he's driving (B) randomly reaches over to rub my arm or kiss my shoulder while I'm driving or (C) opening Gatorade and handing it to me for a sip while I'm driving. He is so amazing.

Ø  I love thumbing through old photographs and hearing stories of relatives (even when they aren’t my relatives) and times gone past. It’s enlightening, it’s important to never forget the past, and it’s great fun.

Ø  Mom will always manage to return phone calls I made four days ago while I’m trying to have a vacation.

Ø  An art supply store is to an artist what a book store is to a writer or avid reader.

Ø   A comic book store is not just for super geeks and epic nerds. There are a lot of fun and unique board games there, and also rather racy comic books, which always manage to entertain me.

Ø  I love big book stores, small book stores, any sort of book stores. I also immediately manage to find the Sexuality section before any other and then look through every book they have, wanting to take them all home.

Ø  I can sniff out a bargain bin at a book store at lightning speed.

Ø  I think I like book stores slightly more than my boyfriend likes them, which is fine.

Ø  There’s something about being in a new place that makes me feel special. I can’t explain it, even though it was only an hour away, I feel suspended from my life, like my worries are so far away and out of my mind. I’m free.

Ø  New places, new faces, new foods, new moods, it all excites me. I love new experiences!

Ø  Even when my ear causes considerable pain and misery, I can still manage to have a great time when I’m around such fun people!

Ø  My boyfriend’s family is loud, proud, funny, and I feel I’m going to fit right in, because I’m very much the same way myself.

Ø  Turoni’s pizza is very delicious.

Ø  Cette pute m’a donne les morpions. Dirty French books are hilarious, you get to learn how to say really funny phrases!

Ø  The sleep right after a trip is somehow deeper and more solid. Waking up the next day isn’t as hard, I felt very rested.

So! It's time to get back in the saddle again!

Thanks to my best friend giving me a bit of a push to get back on track, the love of a man who is ecstatic to be with me as I am today, but supports and understands my drive to get healthier, and my dad's recent hospital visit wherein he discovered his sugar levels were off the charts and he is now a diabetic... I'm determined to drop the 100 pounds that are plaguing my body, my life, my mind, and my heart.

I have to be rid of it. It's going. This time next year, it will be gone, for good, always and forever. :)

This blog is going to help me do it. It was always the link to my motivation and drive to bettering myself. By posting my goals in this blog, and keeping track of my daily advances, I stuck to my guns and lost 50+ pounds last year. This year, I'm upping the ante a bit and am determined to lose 100 pounds by May 2013.

My methods are rather simple:
> Working out twice a day, five days a week.
> Removing fast food, excess sweets, and sodas from my diet.
> Making all of my meals myself.
> Sticking to an eating schedule.

Sounds like a long list, but its all doable and becomes habit after a couple of weeks of doing it. I have a month until my fall semester starts, so that's plenty of time to make these lifestyle changes into habits that I'll carry through the school semester. School always seems to be the hurdle for me, but I can't put off becoming healthy for the rest of my educational career... Its simply NOT an option.

I can get decent grades, go to school full-time, work full-time, and exercise everyday and eat my own home-made meals, right? Sure I can, people do all those things and more everyday. I'm thinking of mothers, especially, who raise kids, work two jobs or more, go to school, and still find time to be healthy. I am doing this. There's no turning back!

So here I goooooooooo! :)

Today's Stats:
Woke Up: 1 PM
Lunch: Two ham sandwiches on wheat bread with mayo and spicy brown mustard. Water to drink.
Snack: Quaker Oatmeal To Go Brown Sugar Cinnamon
Exercise: 35 mins elliptical (2.4 miles, burned 334 calories)
Dinner: Chicken Ramen Noodles. Water.

Day One and Two

The school semester is winding down, affording me precious energy and time to jump back into weight loss. I couldn't be more excited! Here's a re-cap of the last two days.

Wed. April 18th, 2012
Ate turkey wrap and chips/salsa
CafeSteamer

Exercised 30 minutes on the elliptical

Thurs. April 19th, 2012
Ate turkey sandwich and chips/salsa
CafeSteamer for dinner

Exercised 15 minutes (run/jog) on the treadmill, 15 minutes on the elliptical, about 20 mins clogdancing

Gina Getting Her Groove Back!

They say the world may end this year. Oddly enough, 2012 has seen a drastically different Gina than the girl who lived just a few years ago… I wear makeup now. I care about how my clothes fit and look on my body. I accessorize. I worry about my weight and then actually do things about it! I fall in love and out of love. I emphasize my assets and direct attention away from my faults (which I somehow no longer see as my entire body, head to toe, just a select few things here and there). I speak up in public about issues I have an opinion about, whether that be a topic in a classroom discussion or a problem being put forth at work by my boss or a co-worker. I don’t keep friends around who belittle or estrange or annoy me. The people in my life are positive forces that make me a better person and I hope I return the favor. I stride toward the future and seek knowledge. I don’t shy away from challenges and new experiences. 

My life is my own, I’m in the driver’s seat, I make all the executive decisions. I sometimes fall, I sometimes stumble, I sometimes stop; but I just as soon recuperate, rejuvenate, and start forward again.  What or who can I thank for such changes?  

Myself. I woke up one morning, one magical life-changing morning, and decided enough was enough. I was tired of being so tired. I was disgusted with myself for letting laziness and lack of drive rule my life. I woke up wondering where Gina had stopped being Gina and had begun being an excuse. 

If you want something bad enough, you’ll make it happen. If not, you’ll make excuses. Excuses no longer stop my life in its tracks. My life has become about nothing more than living. Join me?

From the dark-red ashes, shall arise a phoenix of life and light

New Body, New Me Initiative

For the past few weeks I have wandered pretty listlessly through life, badgered constantly by a heavy cloud that seems to follow me around, relentlessly, wherever I go. Even into my house, most especially into my house, to hover so close its suffocating me, as I crawl into bed to sleep at night. Depression is not something I like to allow into my life. I banish those dark fears in my head, banish them behind empty laughter and half-bright smiles. I don't want people to know I'm hurting. I want to be strong, happy, and healthy, but sometimes... that dark impenetrable cloud just won't go away.

But determination wells within me because my skin yearns for the sun again. I'm not a person accustomed to being in darkness always. I need sunlight, I need fresh air, I need joy. And now is that time. I'm taking back what was mine. I'm taking back my own pride, my own satisfaction, my own joy! I'm not letting a little heartbreak, a few detrimental blows to my self-esteem and ego hold me down and break my stride. Baby, I'm strutting back into my own limelight. I need more positive energy into my life and the easiest way to find that?

By being happy and healthy, of course! Healthiness leads to happiness and vice versa. When the body is healthy, the mind can be happy, and there's no other way around that. I can see my achievements slipping from my grasp and I simply can't let that happen. I'm not ready to be fat, ugly, gross, and disappointed in myself. I'm ready to gain back what I have achieved and move ahead, move forward, move toward a new body and a new me.

Thus begins the New Body, New Me Initiative. Phase Two of the Happy Healthy Gina plan was a flop. I didn't stick to any of my goals, I wasn't successful. So I need a new mind-set, a new place to race toward, a new day to begin! And here I am. School and work have dominated the last few weeks of my life, and lazily, I have allowed that to be so. But there are still a few hours in my days that I'm letting go to waste. Yes, I need time to do homework and time to also relax. But I'm taking too much time for the relaxing bit and not enough time for the homework bit and DEFINITELY not enough time for the happiness/healthiness bits...

I have to take back my time, take back my drive, and take back what is rightfully mine: success.

My plan is to cut out fast food and sodas completely, sticking to home-made meals and water to drink. I also plan to fit in at least one workout a day, two workouts a day on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

Monday/Wednesdays - treadmill or elliptical night
Tuesday/Thursdays - Workout DVD (or walk/jog, weather permitting) morning / treadmill or elliptical night
Friday/Saturday/Sunday - Workout DVD (or walk/jog) morning / treadmill or elliptical at night

Phase Two - Day Three

Stats for the Day
Wake Up: 11:30 AM
Breakfast: none
Lunch: Ham sandwich and tater tots. Water.
Exercise: none
Snack: Bagel
Dinner: Pizza

Inspiration of the Day
Lasting glances from a crush. Making eye contact with him makes me blush, giggle, and tingle. Can't wait until I feel more self-confidence and can march right up to him and ask for his phone number.

Reflections on the Day
I didn't work out, and I ate a bagel and some pizza. I feel on the verge of failure and depression, but I won't let myself down. In fact, I'm determined to do some DVD workouts over the weekend and boost myself back up because I'll need a kick-in-the-pants to carry my current daily exercise regime into the school year.

Phase Two: Day Two

Stats for the Day
Wake Up: 11:30 AM
Breakfast: none
Lunch: Salsa Chicken and tater tots. Water.
Snack: Special K. Minute Maid Lemonade.
Exercise: 30 mins clogdancing
Dinner: Chicken Spaghetti Alfredo and apple sauce. Water.

Inspiration for the Day
Took my shirt off for the shower and my breasts already feel a tiny bit perkier after only two exercise sessions this week. I'm starting to notice the tightening of my body where my muscles are getting the work out they've been desperately needing.

Reaction to the Day
  

Phase Two: Day One

Stats for the Day
Wake Up: 11:30 AM
Breakfast: None
Lunch: Ham sandwich with brown mustard on wheat bread and tortilla chips with salsa. Water.
Snack: Special K bar with Minute Maid lemonade to drink.
Exercise: 30 minutes elliptical Random setting
Dinner: Beef Merlot CafeSteamer

Today's Inspiration
I was flirting with the UPS guy, and he offered to get the phone number of his co-worker who I find quite attractive. I felt self-conscious and declined the oppurtunity for the phone number. I have to stick to my goals so my self-confidence will grow and these sorts of oppurtunities won't pass me by!!!!!!!!!!! Reason Number One for Losing the Weight: So my expert flirtation skills won't go to waste due to my lack of physical self-confidence. I know my personality is there, but I want a great body to back it up.

Thoughts of the Day
I feel great and inspired to begin the new phase of my life and especially looking forward to the improvement of my health and happiness. I need to succeed now more than ever. There is no looking back. My future is ahead of me and in a few months' time I want to be able to say, "I did it!" instead of, "I was doing so well, but I gave up. Oh well."

Phase Two: The Plan

To better facilitate Phase Two of my endeavor to lose a hundred pounds by May 2012, I am going to go back to daily counts of everything I eat and the exercise I have done. This will force me to stick to my plans and not deviate. By holding myself accountable, I feel I will be more likely to sustain will power and not sleep until noon before grabbing a cheeseburger on the way to work. It worked for Phase One, where I successfully lost forty pounds and maintained that weight for nearly five months, so I’m going to reinstate it for Phase Two. Here is a vague outline of my plan:

1.       Daily blog counts of food eaten and exercise done

2.       Only eat home-made meals, eat at restaurants sparingly.

3.       No soda, stay away from unnecessary sweets.

4.       Only one serving at a meal. No second helpings.

5.       Exercise for at least thirty minutes every day. Fit in more when time allows (if there is no homework or housework to be done).

Quick Comparison Shots and a Shout Out

I discovered an awesome forum where people are losing weight and sharing their stories of triumph. I feel it will serve as an amazing inspiration and motivation to get back into my good habits of exercising and eating right. I'm determined not to slip back into those painful patterns of weight gain and depression. I'm saying good bye to the next 40 pounds and beyond! Let's do this!

Here is the URL for the forum, if you want to check it out:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/
I highly recommend making an account so you can check out the Goal and Mini Goal Photo Albums. That is where everyone posts their comparison pictures and if those don't motivate you to put down those Cheetos, nothing will!

And here are some of my comparison shots. I think you've seen all of these pictures before separately, but I wanted to put them together to provide a boost into the new year to show how far I've come!

New Year: What I've Learned in 2011 That Will Carry Me Through 2012

A new year is upon us. When a new year comes around, it's a great motivation to start fresh, to clean out your dusty closets, and move ahead in life. Health and happiness top the resolution dreams and why not achieve those goals? No need to give up after the first week of January. Wouldn't you rather say, "I made it," instead of, "Like every other resolution, I gave up at the first sight of a couch, a Teen Mom marathon, and cake."?

Getting into the habit of eating right and exercising (because, guess what, those are the steps to losing weight, toning the body, and getting healthy) are not as hard as people make it out to be. Once something is done for a few weeks, it becomes routine habit (just like picking up Taco Bell on your way home from work, scarfing it down while watching America's Next Top Model re-runs, then collapsing into bed to sleep until noon the next day has been routine habit for the past few months).

A Few Things 2011 Has Taught Me:

1.Breaking the habits does become routine. Just do it. At first, you'll sneak a double cheeseburger for dinner here and there. Eventually, though, and faster than you think, you won't even want that double cheeseburger, the thought of eating it will make your stomach turn. Your body will reject the unhealthy, greasy, fatty food once you're used to eating better food and working your muscles hard with exercise. Trust me. It works.

2. Losing weight takes time and patience, but the results are well worth the wait. I'm determined to lose at least another sixty pounds by 2013. I'm absolutely sure I'll meet that goal and probably exceed it by quite a bit, but the reason I'm setting it a little low is because I want to lose the weight slowly. I want to be toned as well as thinner. I don't want to have all the excess skin that comes with losing a lot of weight quickly.

3. Plateaus happen, and they don't last forever. I'm planning on trying to lose 10 pounds a month, and if a week or two goes by where I don't lose any weight, I'll be alright. And that will happen. There will be weeks where the weight won't fall off my body, but after that plateau, I will start losing again.

4. You have to walk before you can jog before you can run. Another trick, is to start slow and work myself up. I've seen people hop on an elliptical or a treadmill and think they can run for thirty minutes after having not exercised in months. It simply won't happen. You have to build up the endurance. Otherwise, exercise is painful and not fun because you're tired after two minutes. So do five minutes your first day. Then ten. Then fifteen. And eventually you'll be able to go thirty or forty minutes a day like I do. You can't do it your first day, though, simply don't even try it.

In many ways I'm starting over again. I've been out of the gym since August 2011 and it's now January 2012. But I'm ready, despite school starting again next week, to not let anything, not even school, stand in my way.

5. Nothing feels better than that rush after a great workout. I ran on the elliptical for thirty minutes yesterday and it felt so amazing. I can't give justice to how much better I feel about my appearance just after thirty minutes of exercise. Your adrenaline and endorphins flow, it's magical and it feels amazing. I strut in front of the mirror after a good workout session. I'm sure any men in my life can testify that I feel very very very good about my body, even though that single session on the elliptical didn't make a significant physical difference.  But mentally, it made a huge difference: I was reminded what I was keeping from myself by letting exercise lose the priority in my life for the past few months.

6. No excuses. No more. I need that health and happiness and I'm going to take it.

7. Even the smallest bit of exercise is better for your body than no exercise. Do what you can, when you can. Don't think that just because you don't have time to put an hour into the gym on Monday that you can't walk up and down stairs at work on your fifteen minute break or do a few jumping jacks in front of your desk. 

So wish me luck and I'll wish you luck! We have the power and there's no reason to give up now.

Oh! P. S. I started a pinterest account and I have a board just for Fitness Motivation and Inspiration. Here's the link, check it out if you're ever contemplating sitting through another episode of The Soup instead of going for a jog:
Click here for Fitness Motivation and Inspiration!