FINALLY!

It's strange how this sudden change of mood always seems to come out of nowhere. One minute I'm avoiding the scale on my kitchen floor, carefully walking around it and not looking directly at it, while treating mirrors in my house much the same way. I dodge away from the flashbulbs of cameras and feel horrified at the results of stealthy photographers who do manage to capture my likeness on film. I'm eating terrible food constantly, and sitting around my house doing absolutely nothing with all my free time.

Then something happens, and like a switch was flipped on within me, I'm shoved into a motivated streak that has me racing toward my finish line, full of fresh energy and resilience. Its hard to put a finger on, but something within me is finally tired of being down on myself and losing all the leadway I had made for myself last year. I lost over fifty pounds last year! I've gained nearly all of it back, but why? Why did I stop my healthy habits and sink back into these embarassing and deadly ones?

I can't answer that question, I can't place my finger on it. Laziness is probably the most obvious. But today something clicked. I didn't have an exercise partner, I've given up on letting that be my excuse. I didn't have anyone tell ing me I had to exercise, or that I should. I just decided that today was my first day, and I did it. I worked hard, I concentrated, I worked my muscles, I was drenched in sweat, and I felt great.

I. Felt. Great.

I have to remember that, because I know that even in the height of weight loss, it can be hard to step on that treadmill or do those jumping jacks. I have to remember the sense of accomplishment, the rush of adrenaline, the winks in the mirror as I strut into the changing room at the gym after a hard, satisfying workout. How did I forget those feelings? I can't forget again, I simply won't...

This is important.

This is my life.

Things are going well for me in other areas of my life. I have a nice apartment and a job that allows me to afford that apartment. I have a nice car, with a new stereo. I have money for clothes, and healthy food. I have a family who loves me and is there for me however, whenever, and wherever I need them. School starts again soon and that forces me into a schedule, which is only a beneficial aspect of living healthy. The ability to obtain a higher education and a mind that is still able to learn and retain is something I am grateful for and something I look forward to putting to good use once again. My GPA rose a bit from last semester due to really great grades, so that's great. I'm in love, I have a wonderful boyfriend, FINALLY, in my life who supports me and makes me feel like I can take on the world! So there's nothing stopping me now...

Here I go!

My goals are to lose at least sixty pounds by my next birthday (February 7th, 2013) and then an additional forty by May 2013. When I reach those goals, I will reward myself with one of three trips (depending on which is most feasible and expense-appropriate):

1. Cedar Point
2. Disney Land
3. Ireland

My plan for achieving those goals are simple and will become slightly more intricate and challenging as I plod along. At first, I will give up fast food and eating out at restaurants completely, and only getting salads when eating out as a social event. I will not drink sodas or eat excessive sweets. I will eat three meals a day, with a snack in between lunch and dinner. I will make all of my meals. I will work out twice a day, fitting in at least one Biggest Loser workout DVD.

Nothing is going to stand in my way, not even myself. I'm going to live out my twenties as a happy and healthy woman!