Revising and Remodeling

This year is quickly leaking away and 2012 will be here before I know it. I have so many goals I am expecting to reach by this year’s swiftly-approaching end that these next four months are going to be full of hard work and dedication and nothing else. There is no more room for error, lack of motivation, or time off. I have to kick myself into high gear, refusing to slack off or let myself down. I can’t let life, laziness, or luck get in my way. The only person I can blame for failure is myself and I’m simply not going to allow that to happen. I won’t let myself down. I have nowhere to go but forward because going backward or staying stagnant are not options for me.

I start school on Monday, and that’s going to be a daunting strain on my sleeping, eating, and exercising schedule. It will literally take five hours from my day, and put me in a chair in a classroom for those five hours. Beyond those five hours a day Monday through Friday, I will have to fit in additional hours every week that I’ll be spending doing homework, studying, researching, and writing papers. I’m still working my full-time job, and still going to exercise for at least an hour every day. Where will I find time to do all of this?

No question. I will simply do it. The hours are there, I just have to seize them and make every minute of every day count. Some people hate having hectic schedules, but for me, I find myself striving on the adrenaline rush of stress to fit everything into my day. I like settling into bed in the evening, exhausted because my feet pounded pavement and my mind raced around my skull all day trying to fit in everything I needed to do in that day. I like mentally cataloguing everything I did that day and impressing myself with the sheer amount of activities and work I managed to fit in.

I didn’t sit around and watch an America’s Next Top Model marathon all day, I went to two classes, ate home-cooked food for every meal, worked out twice, went to work, did homework, picked up groceries, cleaned my apartment, and then made myself a glass of strawberry milk and read five chapters in a book I’m reading for pure pleasure before curling up into bed and dreaming sweet dreams of how well the next day should go. I love those kinds of days.

I’m sure my tune will change in a week when the lack of sleep and rushing around gets under my skin, but once I get back into the groove of being constantly busy, I will really love it and will thrive on it. There is one aspect of my life that I will miss a lot, and that’s spending time talking to Jon. We’re already dealing with 3,000 miles of literal distance, and then five hours of time difference in order to speak to each other and be a part of each other’s lives. Going back to school will cut into our time together, but in the long-run, it will be worth it. I’ll be one semester closer to getting my degree, and thus one semester closer to moving to England.

I am biting at the bit to get this party started. I can’t wait to get back into Too Busy to Breathe Mode. I have sixty more pounds to lose by next April, I have four classes to pass, I have a job to keep, and I have friends and family to spend time with and appreciate. I will succeed in all these areas with time and energy to spare! Wish me luck!