I've decided to delete my Facebook account... at least for a week and see how life feels without it. I find myself relying too much on using Facebook to interact and relate to my friends and family. I feel I would connect far more deeply with people without the medium of Facebook as a sort of conduit between us. I hate that the only time I hear from most of my friends is through Facebook and I hate that new friends never make it past the acquaintance stage because once they find me on Facebook, that seems to be as far as any new friendships go.
Life before Facebook was a happy life, a healthy life. Life after Facebook can be the same, and better. I'm not saying Faceboook has hindered my happiness and healthiness to a deprecating degree, I just think it can only be a positive thing to be done with it. I'm 22 years old now, I don't want to have spent more years on Facebook than off. I don't want to be wrapped up in the advertising schemes and information selling schemes that Facebook is obviously engaging in. I don't want my thoughts, my ideas, my personality, being monitored and sold for financial profit. I'm not saying that posting on blogs is any different, but I think that posting on blogs will hinder me from posting so quickly the mundane personal things that are really no one's business.
I don't have to have "followers" or "subscribers" or "facebook friends" to be a valid and interesting person. I don't need a daily description of 180 characters or less to feel like my day was worth having. I can validate myself, I can make myself interesting to the people I physically meet, not people who just keep tabs on my well-being through Facebook. Those aren't true friends anyway. True friends come and visit with a random piece of pie just because they were in a bakery and saw your favorite flavor and brought you a slice... friends are people who call you on the phone just to talk about nothing and everything because they like the sound of your voice and your perspective on things and know that you also appreciate theirs... friends are people to cry with, laugh with, share with, love with, fall down and get back up with... friends are people you can express things to with a glance and a smile and they'll know exactly what you mean... friends are people you can watch a movie with and pause at an important scene that reminded you of a good joke about Jesus and then you spend the next half hour debating religion versus science before remembering you were watching a movie... friends are people to get lost with on a long road trip... friends are people who let you listen to bad music and don't judge you for it, but bop along with a roll of the eyes and a sighful smile....
You can't share those things through the medium of Facebook. I feel that instead of connecting my friends and I, Facebook alienates us. Facebook gives us an illusion of closeness, it sweeps in and makes it seem that unless people read everything you have to say and look at all your pictures, they don't care about you. But I feel that unless they pick up the phone or knock on your door every so often, they don't care at all. Glancing at a row of status updates and uploaded pictures is lazy, plain and simple. They don't care about you, they are just seeking to be noticed as much as you are. Facebook is a selfish place where friendships go to die or morph into twisted shells of lifeless exposure.
I'm turning away from it. I want to become a better and more whole person who can relate, enjoy, and love my friends and family beyond clicking "like" on a status update or commenting on a picture of the meal someone made today.
Let's see how this goes. I may be singing a different tune when in a week I feel alone and forgotten and useless because no one has seen my internet presence! This is a study in health and happiness, but by deleting Facebook, I'm researching the results of being a member of a generation defined by their internet presence as opposed to the realization of their personal goals, dreams, and desires. Each person is unique, special, and exquisite. Should that only be expressed online?
No. Communication is key in expressing oneself. If your only way of communication and outreach is through Facebook, you're not communicating at all because communication is a two-way street. Pay attention to how people communicate these days. Everything from a simple telephone conversation to a family member to meeting a new person in line at a bank to conversations with old friends. It's all different. You either discuss Facebook, or mention a status someone put on Facebook, or check your phone in the middle of a conversation for Facebook updates, or even look up a mutual friend on Facebook to discuss their recent pictures or updates...
I want to be able to talk to someone without that impeding and holding back the conversation from getting anywhere real. I want to be real again. I don't want to be binary code on a screen....
So I'll be utilizing this blog, still as a way of expressing my feelings, thoughts, and emotions during my journey to becoming a happier and healthier me, but also sliding into the more personal realm of thoughts, questions, and desires that have everything to do with learning, growing, and dreaming as much as losing weight, getting healthier, and becoming happier. Enjoy!
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