I find myself more and more daydreaming about clothes. I know it has a lot to do with the fact that in losing weight, I fit into cuter clothes, and not only that, but I feel better in my clothes! I feel like I can wear more chic, in-style, and flirty clothing. That’s a great feeling to have. I can’t wait until I’m at the size I want to be and I will really be strutting my stuff. Luckily, what seems to be in style at the moment works great for my current body type, so I am flaunting it to the fullest!
I keep letting my mind drift and more often than not it drifts to images of outfits I’m dying to put together. Most are inspired by what I see girls wearing as they walk down the halls at school (and it’s insane how little I paid attention to what girls wore before… I literally never cared, and imagined myself to be invisible to everyone around me… now I realize, and it’s slightly depressing, how much other people do pay attention to what you wear, what your hair looks like, if your shoes match your outfit, and so on and so on… makes me terrified of what people really thought of me behind my back in high school with my too-long hair with the dead ends and baggy blue jeans and ugly boyish t-shirts. No wonder I didn’t get laid in high school…) and I take mental notes if something a girl is wearing catches my eye and I think that I myself would look good in those boots or that top.
There’s a girl in my French class. I don’t know her name, but I’m slightly obsessed with her style. Every time she walks into class, I feel a twinge of longing. I’d love to be her size, her body type, and have her easy-going/beach bum/just rolled out of bed but still look awesome/hipster style. She’s gorgeous and I’m insanely jealous of her outfits every day. She most likely shops at secondhand stores and just throws on whatever is clean in the morning, but it always fits her so well and compliments her body. And I just love the way her whole look seamlessly meshes together. I have cataloged quite a few dream outfits in my mind that are derived from outfits that I have seen this girl wear. I almost wish I could sneak photos of her and store them away in my “thin” file so that when I get to my desired weight, I can look back at how she dresses and steal her style. :D
One outfit that I want to wear, simply because I’ve seen her wear something similar, is a tunic-style shirt that looks like a men’s button-up plaid shirt, except it’s made feminine because the shape of the shirt cinches in at the waist. It’s basically a shirt-dress, which I’ve raved about before, how badly I want one. Apparently bigger girls shouldn’t wear shirt-dresses because I can’t find them in a size I can wear anywhere. I went so far as to buy one from Meijer, the perfect one for the outfit I’m dreaming of wearing, but it was too small when I got home to try it on. So now it hangs in my closet, waiting patiently for the day I get back into gear, lose more weight, and can fit into its soft wonderful fabric. I would pair it with faux dark denim leggings and ankle high brown leather cowgirl boots, hopefully with a bit of fringe on them somewhere. A silver chain necklace with a large turquoise gem on it would make the outfit pop. I even know what purse I would wear with it. I think of this sort of thing all day long, and my stomach burns with the desire to wear whatever I want because size and confidence will no longer be an issue.
It’s enough to make a girl jump back on an elliptical, eh? Let’s hope so!
