Have a Very Merry Calorie Overload

Having grown up in a strangely agnostic family, Christmas has come to mean only three things to me: presents, the family gathering in a single house, and dinner.

Presents are shiny things in wrapping paper that for whatever reason haven’t been truly exciting since I was old enough to be carried on Mom’s hip. Since those days of youthful wonder and delight have passed, presents only mean undue stress, especially in the areas of finance and time management. This year, I bypassed that stress by asking my family to donate to a charity instead of buying me a gift. In return, I plan on making donations to a few choice charities in the names of each of my family members. Sounds like quite an endeavor, but I’m hoping to make it a tradition every year. I can’t explain how much less stressful Christmas has been this year without having to worry about what gifts to buy everyone and knowing that I won’t have to fake delight at the presents I receive. Instead, I know that the money previously spent on candles I will never use or makeup I will never wear will go to a charity that is doing wonderful work in the community and the world.

The family gathering in a single house is the part of Christmas I enjoy the most. I love being around everyone, (once I get past their questions about why I’m not in a relationship and/or bearing their grandchildren, nieces, or nephews yet) and I love playing cards and just chatting about the year with people I don’t get to see as often as I would like. My grandparents, especially, are my favorite people to be around at Christmas. I enjoy their stories, their life, and their love. I love knowing they have lived through so much and have so much wisdom to impart. I cherish everything they tell me, and Christmas is especially great for stirring up their memories and listening to them telling great stories and tales. Grandma’s house is a bit small, but everyone fits and we all have a great time. Every so often an argument might pop up, but for the most part, we all get along and smiles and laughter are upon everyone’s lips. Those are the Christmases I enjoy the most. The house is never without the sound of someone laughing and the joy shines brighter than the lights on Grandma’s tiny tinsel-smothered artificial tree.       

         

Lastly, Christmas is all about the dinner. This year, Grandma is deviating from the staple turkey and ham and making meatloaf instead. I can’t wait! Meatloaf is one of my favorite things to eat, and my grandma’s is actually great. I joke about my family not being the greatest cooks in the world (and they really aren’t, but we get by) but grandma’s meatloaf is really good. My mother makes her delicious desserts, and I’ll bring my much-requested hash brown casserole. I’ve also volunteered myself to make green beans, and I’m’ going to surprise everyone with some red velvet sandwich cookies. I’m most excited about making those cookies. I can’t wait to see everyone’s surprise at the decadent and tasty little treats!

Dinner also poses a big problem at Christmas: I always want to overeat. This year, I’m determined to manage myself a lot better than years past. I need to stick to my goal of losing 100 pounds by next April. I’ve come so far, I can’t give up and let it all go to waste just because of a holiday! So everyone stay strong and think of your goals instead of how tasty grandma’s cooking is! J

Initiating Phase Two

I’m referring to the second boost in my weight-loss endeavor as Phase Two. I’m more than ready to jump back into the positive habits that I’ve missed since school started. It drives me crazy that I’ve allowed these months to slide by without getting back into my exercising habits or healthier eating habits. But, it honestly was next to impossible considering my hectic work and school schedule. The only energy I had left at the end of the day was just enough to take off my clothes and slip into bed for sleep. But no more! After Wednesday of this week, I’ll no longer have school during the day to take away my energy and time. So no excuses! 

Starting Thursday, full-force, I’m working out twice a day and making all of my own meals. No more drive-thrus, no more slacking off, it simply stops Thursday. I just checked out the new gym in my new office building and it is so sweet, it got me super excited to start utilizing the facilities. Everything in there is brand-new, all the equipment, the showers and restrooms, (there are even lockers, and I’m abducting one for my very own asap), the sound system is even amazing, with speakers in the ceiling and an iPod dock! I can’t wait to make some energetic playlists, plugging in the ol’ iPod and jamming these tiresome pounds away! 

I’m itching to make a daily schedule and plan my meals for the rest of the week and all the weeks after. I can’t wait to buy fresh fruit and vegetables every week. I can’t wait to feel the energy and the excitement from looking in the mirror and knowing I’m looking and feeling better. I’m ready! The cold weather will not force me into hibernation, it will only spur me on to work for next year’s beach body! 

Getting Back in Gear

The semester is coming to a close. I'll soon have three weeks with no classes to distract me from working on my health. I'm looking forward to daily exercise and better food. I'm looking forward to losing more weight. I'm looking forward to reaching my goals. I'm looking forward to feeling better, looking better, and being better.

My plan is to get those finals aced, those papers written, to end the semester on a high note with decent grades. After that, I'll settle into a routine of exercising at least once a day, working back up to my normal routine of twice a day.

I'm starting today with a nice, long walk. The weather is unusually nice for this late into December, and I'm taking advantage of that while I can. I will not allow the upcoming cold weather to discourage me. I will stick to my ambitions and goals and not let myself down. I want a nicer beach body this summer, and slacking off all winter is NOT going to get me to that goal. Therefore, I must stay focused, moving, and positive. Under the cut I'm putting  some images that have been motivating me lately, and I'm super excited to get going. :) Come along with me?

2011: A Review in Progress

Deux Milles Onze, A Review

            This year has seen significant changes in the life and times of one Gina Z. I discovered the “joys” of on-line dating. I had never been on a date in my life, and opening myself up to the seemingly infinite world of possibilities beyond my keyboard seemed overwhelming, exciting, and treacherous. I was that fabled fantasy: a single, white female. Headstrong, assured, nothing to hold me back, ready to find love in all the wrong places. I didn’t find love, coincidentally, but I did find my second and then third boyfriends of my life. Neither lasted long, one for a month, the other for two weekends, but they were both lessons to be learned and neither made nor broke me, so I’m still in one piece.

I turned twenty-two this year, celebrating with my second-ever boyfriend during a trip to COSI museum in Cincinnati, Ohio. It was cold, over too quickly, and not as fun as I had hoped. The highlight of my birthday celebrations was a night out at the bowling alley where my wonderful friends and family showed up to bowl twenty-one years away and welcome the twenty-second. I remember the music was grating and too loud and I lost terribly every game I bowled. But it was a night of laughs and good times regardless.

I met some great people this year, along with some average and not so great people, and have lost touch with others. A man named Jon has slipped into my life, albeit from an ocean away, but has been a significant influence over me. He’s been a great friend, a great motivation, a wonderful sounding board of ideas and worries. He’s amazing and I’m so glad to know him. Hopefully next year sometime will have us meeting in person!

I went back to school this year, a goal I promised myself I would accomplish and I did. I have yet to know what my final grades are in my classes, but I feel confident that they will be good.

I bought my first car this year. Quite an endeavor, and one that I’m still making payments on, but a learning experience nonetheless. I made mistakes, but learned from them, and won’t be making them again.

I lost forty pounds this year and have managed to keep it off. Next year will see sixty more pounds shed, at least! 

Baby, It's Cold Outside

My absolute favorite thing about the holiday season is the music. I adore Christmas music, and I hardly mind when radio stations start playing it around Thanksgiving. I'm perfectly fine with hearing Christmas music in department stores before I've even finished digesting my Thanksgiving dinner. I love how many different versions of classic Christmas songs exist, and I love that singing along with pretty  much any Christmas song is cake. It almost seems like knowledge children are born with: the lyrics to classic Christmas songs. And new Christmas songs are typically easy to figure out, and I love that instantaneous group unity when driving a car or walking through the mall and a classic Christmas song comes on that everyone knows the lyrics to.

Here's a listing of some of my favorite Christmas songs this year. Enjoy!

You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch by Thurt Ravenscroft. I love the original version over any other version out there. The only one that comes close is Jim Carrey's version. I love the original so much because it always takes me back to my days playing clarinet in middle school band. The clarinet parts in that song are so fun and I miss playing the Christmas concerts every year. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

Happy Christmas (War is Over) by John and Yoko Ono Lennon. Of course. Were you not expecting this? I love them, I love this song, I love the fact that Christmas is being served with a steaming hot pile of guilt for not doing your part to make the world a better place. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN4Uu0OlmTg

Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney. Yes, unlike the majority of the human race, I love this song, even though it's repetitive as all hell. It makes me smile and bop along, no matter how many times I hear it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9BZDpni56Y

P.S. The stark differences in John Lennon to Paul McCartney's Christmas songs is a perfect illustration of their different strengths as songwriters. John was always great at writing songs that held a message, made you think, were a little bitter, and yet still catchy and singable. Paul writes fun ditties that get stuck in your head and never go away. 

Step Into Christmas by Elton John. I never remember the lyrics to this song, it's only become a favorite of mine for the past Christmas or so. But I love the music and danciness of it more than the lyrics, I must admit. http://youtu.be/9Fjik78LapA

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays by Nsync. This song is fun, simple, Christmas all over, and always makes me dance. The music video is also cute, and brings back my middle school self, when I was a die-hard Nsync fan. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKj92352UAE&ob=av2e

Do They Know It's Christmas? by BandAid. I love love love the original. Yet again, it's a Christmas song serving up a steaming hot side of guilt, LOL. But I love the message, even though it's a but hypocritical. (Why don't they know it's Christmas? Oh... maybe because they aren't Christian???) But it's a catchy song and so fun to belt out in the car. I have to give an honorable mention to the Barenaked Ladies, I like their version, too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5cX_ncZLls

Last Christmas by Wham. This song is starting to get on my nerves, but I still love it, deep down. And secretly.. I like the Crazy Frog version, too. This song is just fun, I guess, and I know all the words, so I can always sing along, which is a plus. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8gmARGvPlI&ob=av3e

Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses. I don't know why, but this song is addictive to me. I love the sound of it, even though I don't know all the lyrics and couldn't tell you quite what it's about. But I do love it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyEztz6nY9Q

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Yancy. This is a classic and my favorite version of it, by far, is Yancy's. The only place I found to listen to it online is on her website: yancynotnancy.com. I like her version a lot. It's country meets rock meets Christmas. What more could you want?!?!?

Christmas Time by Bryan Adams. I like this song. It's not one of my top ten, but I do like it and I can jam to it when it pops on the radio. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhkX2mjl9Qk

All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey. I always liked this song, but never related to it as much as I do this year. -blush- GOD I JUST WISH HE WAS HERE, JUST FOR A NIGHT. But I won't get down. I will jam to Mariah Carey's booming sex-voice and fun raucous music instead. WOOT. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5bo4VDEH-U

Please Come Home for Christmas by The Eagles. A classic rock classic (yes, I meant to put classic twice, deal) and it's one I never think of until I hear on the radio and then I realize how much I love it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeShHAZk3to

Twelve Days of Christmas by the Muppets. I love this version of the song and it's the only version I enjoy listening to every year. I love the Muppets, you knew something had to be on this list and why not their version of Twelve Days? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDBMzGq1vhs

Twelve Days Runner Ups
I also love these versions of that classic song:
Janice Dickinson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VraaEaOzYQ
Jeff Foxworthy http://youtu.be/VJOe3CXE-mA
Bob and Doug McKenzie http://youtu.be/l2oPio60mK4

Fairy Tale of New York by the Pogues. This is Jon's favorite Christmas song and I hadn't heard it in forever until he mentioned it. Now it's slid into my Christmas music list and I'm addicted to it. It's so funny, I love the drunken voice singing!! http://youtu.be/ev94MQ9KQUs

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by the Ronettes. I love love love this song. I love the humor of it, and I also love the music. http://youtu.be/kFj4D11Wmn4

I Wish it Was Christmas Today by Julian Casablancas. I heard this song for the first time last night and fell in love with it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wS-k66MKgs

Winter Wonderland by... I don't know. I heard it on the radio on the way home and fell in love with the version. I can't find it. When I can, I'll update this.

Gobble gobble thanks

The gentle sound of the rain on the metal roof above my head is serene and soothing. The squeaky tennis shoes of my learned peers wreaks streaks of momentary alarm through my mind, but it’s quickly shaken off by the beautiful grey landscape through the large windows directly in front of me. Today is going to be a slow, sleepy kind of day, but who doesn’t need one of those every so often? I love listening to the quiet murmurs of education as students gather at tables and computer kiosks to study, discuss homework, or talk about their Thanksgiving plans.

Thanksgiving. What an ironic holiday. However, it’s one of my favorites. I love cooking food to share with others. I love spending time with my whole family without the pressure of buying gifts or decorating. I love learning about what everyone is thankful for, including myself.

This Thanksgiving I’m thankful for quite a lot.

I am thankful for my family. In many ways they all drive me crazy, but I’m thankful that they are always there for me and I’m thankful that I am able to provide for them when they need it. I am thankful that they are able to share Thanksgiving with me, and I’m thankful that I know they love me and they know I love them.

I am thankful for my friends. I don’t know what I would do without them. I am thankful that they haven’t grown tired of my endless sexual innuendo jokes and boy crazy nature. I am thankful they tolerate my loud voice and boisterous attitude. I am thankful they support me, even when I’ve done something silly. I am thankful they have such great advice to give me. I am thankful to know they love me and that they know I love them. I am thankful for their successes and thankful that I am so lucky to know them.

I’m thankful for my health. I’m thankful that I have the ability to be healthy. I’m thankful that I took the initiative all those months ago to become a healthier person. I’m thankful that I am strong enough and determined enough to stick to those choices and keep moving forward and upward.

I am thankful for the privilege of earning an education.

I am thankful for the ability to buy food and have a roof over my head. (In other words, I’m thankful for my job.)

I am thankful for life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

I am thankful for the ability to read and write.

I am thankful for the privilege of loving others and of being loved.

I am thankful. 

What are you thankful for?

Fantasizing Fashionista

I find myself more and more daydreaming about clothes. I know it has a lot to do with the fact that in losing weight, I fit into cuter clothes, and not only that, but I feel better in my clothes! I feel like I can wear more chic, in-style, and flirty clothing. That’s a great feeling to have. I can’t wait until I’m at the size I want to be and I will really be strutting my stuff. Luckily, what seems to be in style at the moment works great for my current body type, so I am flaunting it to the fullest! 

I keep letting my mind drift and more often than not it drifts to images of outfits I’m dying to put together. Most are inspired by what I see girls wearing as they walk down the halls at school (and it’s insane how little I paid attention to what girls wore before… I literally never cared, and imagined myself to be invisible to everyone around me… now I realize, and it’s slightly depressing, how much other people do pay attention to what you wear, what your hair looks like, if your shoes match your outfit, and so on and so on… makes me terrified of what people really thought of me behind my back in high school with my too-long hair with the dead ends and baggy blue jeans and ugly boyish t-shirts. No wonder I didn’t get laid in high school…) and I take mental notes if something a girl is wearing catches my eye and I think that I myself would look good in those boots or that top. 

There’s a girl in my French class. I don’t know her name, but I’m slightly obsessed with her style. Every time she walks into class, I feel a twinge of longing. I’d love to be her size, her body type, and have her easy-going/beach bum/just rolled out of bed but still look awesome/hipster style. She’s gorgeous and I’m insanely jealous of her outfits every day. She most likely shops at secondhand stores and just throws on whatever is clean in the morning, but it always fits her so well and compliments her body. And I just love the way her whole look seamlessly meshes together. I have cataloged quite a few dream outfits in my mind that are derived from outfits that I have seen this girl wear. I almost wish I could sneak photos of her and store them away in my “thin” file so that when I get to my desired weight, I can look back at how she dresses and steal her style. :D

One outfit that I want to wear, simply because I’ve seen her wear something similar, is a tunic-style shirt that looks like a men’s button-up plaid shirt, except it’s made feminine because the shape of the shirt cinches in at the waist. It’s basically a shirt-dress, which I’ve raved about before, how badly I want one. Apparently bigger girls shouldn’t wear shirt-dresses because I can’t find them in a size I can wear anywhere. I went so far as to buy one from Meijer, the perfect one for the outfit I’m dreaming of wearing, but it was too small when I got home to try it on. So now it hangs in my closet, waiting patiently for the day I get back into gear, lose more weight, and can fit into its soft wonderful fabric. I would pair it with faux dark denim leggings and ankle high brown leather cowgirl boots, hopefully with a bit of fringe on them somewhere. A silver chain necklace with a large turquoise gem on it would make the outfit pop. I even know what purse I would wear with it. I think of this sort of thing all day long, and my stomach burns with the desire to wear whatever I want because size and confidence will no longer be an issue. 

It’s enough to make a girl jump back on an elliptical, eh? Let’s hope so!

Start Again

I refuse to gain those forty pounds back, absolutely refuse to. I was down to about 237, but I've gone back up to 242. This is a fail. An epic, utterly annoying, fail.

However, it is not unsalvageable. Unlike before, I have noticed the weight gain early and so can start doing something about it before I wake up one morning and I'm almost 300 pounds again.

My plan is to start small, like always, and build myself back up to never touching fast food and working out twice a day. I've fallen out of line with those habits, and I have to get back to that place. But I can't just dive headfirst into it, the road to success, as I have learned, is to take small steps until you're used to those steps and can take bigger steps without falling on your face.

So my Plan of Retaliation is this:

Cut out all fast food. None, nada, zip. I don't care if all I have to take for dinner at work is a can of soup everyday, there is to be no, and I mean NO fast food making its way into my body.

Also, no soda and moderate sweets/treats. A candy bar here or there isn't going to kill me, but no more eating them everyday, all the time.

I will also start working in half hour walks at least every other day. I walk a lot as it is, but going on a brisk walk will do me even better and I also need to celebrate this beautiful weather while we have it.

I'm getting back on track, I refuse to go back to that dark lonely place of grotesque fatness ever again. Are you with me?!?!?! :D I'm with me! :p

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