Gobble gobble thanks

The gentle sound of the rain on the metal roof above my head is serene and soothing. The squeaky tennis shoes of my learned peers wreaks streaks of momentary alarm through my mind, but it’s quickly shaken off by the beautiful grey landscape through the large windows directly in front of me. Today is going to be a slow, sleepy kind of day, but who doesn’t need one of those every so often? I love listening to the quiet murmurs of education as students gather at tables and computer kiosks to study, discuss homework, or talk about their Thanksgiving plans.

Thanksgiving. What an ironic holiday. However, it’s one of my favorites. I love cooking food to share with others. I love spending time with my whole family without the pressure of buying gifts or decorating. I love learning about what everyone is thankful for, including myself.

This Thanksgiving I’m thankful for quite a lot.

I am thankful for my family. In many ways they all drive me crazy, but I’m thankful that they are always there for me and I’m thankful that I am able to provide for them when they need it. I am thankful that they are able to share Thanksgiving with me, and I’m thankful that I know they love me and they know I love them.

I am thankful for my friends. I don’t know what I would do without them. I am thankful that they haven’t grown tired of my endless sexual innuendo jokes and boy crazy nature. I am thankful they tolerate my loud voice and boisterous attitude. I am thankful they support me, even when I’ve done something silly. I am thankful they have such great advice to give me. I am thankful to know they love me and that they know I love them. I am thankful for their successes and thankful that I am so lucky to know them.

I’m thankful for my health. I’m thankful that I have the ability to be healthy. I’m thankful that I took the initiative all those months ago to become a healthier person. I’m thankful that I am strong enough and determined enough to stick to those choices and keep moving forward and upward.

I am thankful for the privilege of earning an education.

I am thankful for the ability to buy food and have a roof over my head. (In other words, I’m thankful for my job.)

I am thankful for life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

I am thankful for the ability to read and write.

I am thankful for the privilege of loving others and of being loved.

I am thankful. 

What are you thankful for?

Fantasizing Fashionista

I find myself more and more daydreaming about clothes. I know it has a lot to do with the fact that in losing weight, I fit into cuter clothes, and not only that, but I feel better in my clothes! I feel like I can wear more chic, in-style, and flirty clothing. That’s a great feeling to have. I can’t wait until I’m at the size I want to be and I will really be strutting my stuff. Luckily, what seems to be in style at the moment works great for my current body type, so I am flaunting it to the fullest! 

I keep letting my mind drift and more often than not it drifts to images of outfits I’m dying to put together. Most are inspired by what I see girls wearing as they walk down the halls at school (and it’s insane how little I paid attention to what girls wore before… I literally never cared, and imagined myself to be invisible to everyone around me… now I realize, and it’s slightly depressing, how much other people do pay attention to what you wear, what your hair looks like, if your shoes match your outfit, and so on and so on… makes me terrified of what people really thought of me behind my back in high school with my too-long hair with the dead ends and baggy blue jeans and ugly boyish t-shirts. No wonder I didn’t get laid in high school…) and I take mental notes if something a girl is wearing catches my eye and I think that I myself would look good in those boots or that top. 

There’s a girl in my French class. I don’t know her name, but I’m slightly obsessed with her style. Every time she walks into class, I feel a twinge of longing. I’d love to be her size, her body type, and have her easy-going/beach bum/just rolled out of bed but still look awesome/hipster style. She’s gorgeous and I’m insanely jealous of her outfits every day. She most likely shops at secondhand stores and just throws on whatever is clean in the morning, but it always fits her so well and compliments her body. And I just love the way her whole look seamlessly meshes together. I have cataloged quite a few dream outfits in my mind that are derived from outfits that I have seen this girl wear. I almost wish I could sneak photos of her and store them away in my “thin” file so that when I get to my desired weight, I can look back at how she dresses and steal her style. :D

One outfit that I want to wear, simply because I’ve seen her wear something similar, is a tunic-style shirt that looks like a men’s button-up plaid shirt, except it’s made feminine because the shape of the shirt cinches in at the waist. It’s basically a shirt-dress, which I’ve raved about before, how badly I want one. Apparently bigger girls shouldn’t wear shirt-dresses because I can’t find them in a size I can wear anywhere. I went so far as to buy one from Meijer, the perfect one for the outfit I’m dreaming of wearing, but it was too small when I got home to try it on. So now it hangs in my closet, waiting patiently for the day I get back into gear, lose more weight, and can fit into its soft wonderful fabric. I would pair it with faux dark denim leggings and ankle high brown leather cowgirl boots, hopefully with a bit of fringe on them somewhere. A silver chain necklace with a large turquoise gem on it would make the outfit pop. I even know what purse I would wear with it. I think of this sort of thing all day long, and my stomach burns with the desire to wear whatever I want because size and confidence will no longer be an issue. 

It’s enough to make a girl jump back on an elliptical, eh? Let’s hope so!

Start Again

I refuse to gain those forty pounds back, absolutely refuse to. I was down to about 237, but I've gone back up to 242. This is a fail. An epic, utterly annoying, fail.

However, it is not unsalvageable. Unlike before, I have noticed the weight gain early and so can start doing something about it before I wake up one morning and I'm almost 300 pounds again.

My plan is to start small, like always, and build myself back up to never touching fast food and working out twice a day. I've fallen out of line with those habits, and I have to get back to that place. But I can't just dive headfirst into it, the road to success, as I have learned, is to take small steps until you're used to those steps and can take bigger steps without falling on your face.

So my Plan of Retaliation is this:

Cut out all fast food. None, nada, zip. I don't care if all I have to take for dinner at work is a can of soup everyday, there is to be no, and I mean NO fast food making its way into my body.

Also, no soda and moderate sweets/treats. A candy bar here or there isn't going to kill me, but no more eating them everyday, all the time.

I will also start working in half hour walks at least every other day. I walk a lot as it is, but going on a brisk walk will do me even better and I also need to celebrate this beautiful weather while we have it.

I'm getting back on track, I refuse to go back to that dark lonely place of grotesque fatness ever again. Are you with me?!?!?! :D I'm with me! :p

ANNOUNCEMENT!

Get out your pens and paper and jot this down, it's one you'll want to remember!

The Happy Healthy Gina Blog now has a Facebook fan page. That's right. Visit the page, become a fan, and get nifty updates about new blogs here on Happy Healthy Gina. You'll also get cool things like updates for new Youtube videos posted by yours truly, workout tips and tricks, motivational quotes, etc. It's everything you love about the Happy Healthy Gina blog, just on your Facebook news feed! LIKE THE PAGE NOW!

http://www.facebook.com/happyhealthygina