I was getting tired of my drab and dreary green comforter set and decided to get something new. This set was on sale for 25 bucks! It included everything and I love how it looks!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
First Day of School, A Review
Getting up for school was surprisingly easy. I anticipated much grumbling and kicking at the alarm clock and rolling back over under the covers, but since I've been forcing myself awake early the past two weeks, this week was cake. I got out of bed, only laying there twelve minutes after the alarm went off, and hopped in the shower. I had some yogurt and a glass of milk for breakfast, and packed some leftover pizza in a cooler for lunch. I knew I already had stir fry at work for dinner (I brought it in on Friday and didn't eat it) so I was all set.
Parking at IUS, especially when classes first start, is a total nightmare. After the first two or three weeks, though, people drop classes and just don't show up to as many classes and thus parking becomes less of a fuss. I trundled around and around the lots, looking for anyone leaving the buildings, eyeing them hungrily as they approached their cars, aiming to take their spot as soon as they vacated it. Finally, almost twenty minutes after arriving at campus, I found a spot.... on the clear opposite side of campus than my first class. And, continuing my streak of genius ideas, I wore a dress and heels to look sophisticated and nice on my first day back...
I regretted that decision halfway across campus. My feet were hurting and I considered taking my shoes off and strolling across the grass, but I held off because the pathway was actually a quicker route, and found my class. There weren't many seats left when I arrived, but I found one near the front, which is where I like to sit. I was sitting in the desk, arranging my things, putting my cell phone on silent mode, when I suddenly noticed something...
My stomach wasn't touching the front of the desk.
Last time I was in school, which was about a year ago, the desks were so very uncomfortable for me. But today, I sat in them easily, my ass fit on the seat without ballooning over the sides uncomfortably, and I had a good inch or two between my tummy and the desktop. I wanted to jump for joy, clap, whoop, and holler, but I just sat there, grinning to myself and giving myself an imaginary pat on the back.
The rest of my day went quite well! If you're curious, under the cut I'll impart the tale of the first two classes of this semester! :)
Parking at IUS, especially when classes first start, is a total nightmare. After the first two or three weeks, though, people drop classes and just don't show up to as many classes and thus parking becomes less of a fuss. I trundled around and around the lots, looking for anyone leaving the buildings, eyeing them hungrily as they approached their cars, aiming to take their spot as soon as they vacated it. Finally, almost twenty minutes after arriving at campus, I found a spot.... on the clear opposite side of campus than my first class. And, continuing my streak of genius ideas, I wore a dress and heels to look sophisticated and nice on my first day back...
I regretted that decision halfway across campus. My feet were hurting and I considered taking my shoes off and strolling across the grass, but I held off because the pathway was actually a quicker route, and found my class. There weren't many seats left when I arrived, but I found one near the front, which is where I like to sit. I was sitting in the desk, arranging my things, putting my cell phone on silent mode, when I suddenly noticed something...
My stomach wasn't touching the front of the desk.
Last time I was in school, which was about a year ago, the desks were so very uncomfortable for me. But today, I sat in them easily, my ass fit on the seat without ballooning over the sides uncomfortably, and I had a good inch or two between my tummy and the desktop. I wanted to jump for joy, clap, whoop, and holler, but I just sat there, grinning to myself and giving myself an imaginary pat on the back.
The rest of my day went quite well! If you're curious, under the cut I'll impart the tale of the first two classes of this semester! :)
First Day of School!
I start back to school today for my third semester of college. I'm excited and also nervous. I can't wait to get back into the swing of a full schedule and writing papers and learning and doing homework and giving presentations and all that fun stuff.
I'm wearing my new dress today, maybe. I can't decide if it's worth the risk of blinding everyone with my pale pale legs. They look even worse since I got a tan on my arms. It seriously looks like I'm wearing white tights. So maybe I should wear a long skirt for my first day so as not to scar anyone for life! I'll probably chicken out and wear my long skirt today, but I had my heart set on wearing this dress. I just don't think it looks good with my shockingly white legs. If my arms weren't tanned, it wouldn't look so awkward... -sigh-
Sometimes I really hate worrying what other people think. Who cares if I have white ghost legs and tanned arms? Obviously I haven't let my legs get burned. And if anyone cared to ask, I would explain that I didn't want to be tanned at all because for the past week I was in excruciating pain from the terrible sunburn I had on my arms and shoulders. (Which is STILL peeling and itching like mad.) So if it were up to me, not only would my legs still be ghost-white, but my arms and shoulders would be, too, because I didn't go through any happy times to get them tan.
But no one will ask, they will just think, "Damn, her legs are white!!!!"
I might just go for it and not care how bad it looks. LOL. Simply because I'm too lazy to change...
I'm wearing my new dress today, maybe. I can't decide if it's worth the risk of blinding everyone with my pale pale legs. They look even worse since I got a tan on my arms. It seriously looks like I'm wearing white tights. So maybe I should wear a long skirt for my first day so as not to scar anyone for life! I'll probably chicken out and wear my long skirt today, but I had my heart set on wearing this dress. I just don't think it looks good with my shockingly white legs. If my arms weren't tanned, it wouldn't look so awkward... -sigh-
Sometimes I really hate worrying what other people think. Who cares if I have white ghost legs and tanned arms? Obviously I haven't let my legs get burned. And if anyone cared to ask, I would explain that I didn't want to be tanned at all because for the past week I was in excruciating pain from the terrible sunburn I had on my arms and shoulders. (Which is STILL peeling and itching like mad.) So if it were up to me, not only would my legs still be ghost-white, but my arms and shoulders would be, too, because I didn't go through any happy times to get them tan.
But no one will ask, they will just think, "Damn, her legs are white!!!!"
I might just go for it and not care how bad it looks. LOL. Simply because I'm too lazy to change...
Friday, August 26, 2011
To-Do List
Saturday -
House Chores (Dishes, Laundry, Floors, Bathroom, Bedding)
Spend $10 Kohl's gift card
Visit grandparents
Sunday -
Plan meals for the week
Grocery shopping
Hang with Chandra
House Chores (Dishes, Laundry, Floors, Bathroom, Bedding)
Spend $10 Kohl's gift card
Visit grandparents
Sunday -
Plan meals for the week
Grocery shopping
Hang with Chandra
Not Missing Facebook
I have quite a few issues with the way our world is changing and "evolving" to incorporate everyday use of the internet. Stop and think about it for just one second. In essence, the internet is becoming a universal consciousness, almost like a shared brain, where everyone can instantly and immediately access any random information they might need. Having a conversation with someone and they can't remember the name of an actor in the movie you're discussing? I guarantee within seconds, a Google window will be opened on someone's smart phone and the answer will be procured within moments. Some see this as a good thing. I see it as a terrible thing.
First of all, you didn't have to exercise any areas of the memory that you normally would have had to stretch and wake up and use to find information you already know but can't immediately remember. Those sections of your brain pertaining to retrieving, storing, and accessing long and short-term memories are being left behind for the use of your thumbs. You just have to type on your little smart phone keyboard, hit enter, and your questions are immediately answered. Your brain is no longer used to store knowledge.
I know I feel it in my generation, because I grew up with computers already available in the home. I've seen the invention of the iPhone, Blackberry, and Android smart phones. I've seen the internet become easier and easier to access and have daily interactions with, and it's starting to become obvious how the internet is dumbing down the population, as opposed to boosting it up and making it "smarter". I haven't had the greatest memory anyway, but I find it harder and harder to ever remember anything anymore. I don't have to, I can just open a web browser on my phone and search for any answer I need.
Sadly, smart phones are also creating boundaries and walls between people. Instead of connecting us, they separate us. Think of the last time you called someone just to talk. You just wanted to spend a little while just talking about nothing and everything. Did you instead write on their wall on Facebook? How much of an interaction did that warrant? Was it as satisfying as hearing their laugh? Did you miss learning how they feel, think, or reacted to something through the tone of their voice? Did you actually feel connected to that person?
If you did, I'm not sure how you could, and maybe you aren't a very social person at all. For me, I gain more satisfaction from eye contact, vocal inflection, touch, seeing their eyes crinkle around the corners when they genuinely smile... I like being around someone. But for the longest time, I gave all that up for interaction on Facebook. I decided that telling everyone the minute "highlights" of my day and whatever was on my mind was enough! It's not. I'm finding out who my true friends are, because they are the ones reaching out to me beyond Facebook. They are the ones I get to spend more time with now, and have more to talk about when we do get to spend that time together, in person.
They don't know everything that's happened in my life, they haven't been able to read my status updates. I have to tell them, they have to ask, they get to learn, and I get to teach. I love hearing about what someone has been through, but for those still connected to Facebook, it's hard for them to express that information. They have already expunged and expelled it on Facebook, and aren't keeping those ideas and events fresh in their minds. So they have to retrieve that information, and it's weary watching the struggle in their eyes as they try to remember just what have they been up to since we last talked. I've even seen someone pull up their Facebook profile to glance over their statuses to tell me what's happened in the last week.
That's so sad, I can't begin to express how sad that is. Are we not living our lives anymore? Are your days really centered around writing statuses on Facebook? Is every experience immediately dumbed down to the amount of characters that fit in a status? Are only the experiences worth a status worth remembering and enjoying and feeling?
I'm so glad I gave up Facebook. I wish everyone else would as well. My life is more rich, I can enjoy every moment without pulling out my phone to explain it to my Facebook friends on my wall as soon as something happens. I have to hold on to the emotions, the way something makes me feel, I have to remember it and hold it and treasure it and bring it up to tell a friend about it in person. I feel like I can live now and before, I wasn't.
Best decision ever. I have to thank Jon a great deal, because his constant teasing and belittling of me using Facebook helped me to make that final decision to delete my profile. I also have to thank several friends from Facebook who posted the most mundane and annoying things that got under my skin and also pushed me to be rid of it. Thank you, because I am so much better off without it.
Give it a try! For just one week, disable your account, and see how much better life is. You'll be forced to give someone a phone call, so you can know what they are up to and share their lives with them. You'll be forced to experience your life for yourself and not for the sake of spouting about it on Facebook. You'll be forced to have actual interactions with actual people! And that's not so bad, I promise!!!!!!
So stand with me and forget Facebook. It isn't giving you anything positive in your life.
First of all, you didn't have to exercise any areas of the memory that you normally would have had to stretch and wake up and use to find information you already know but can't immediately remember. Those sections of your brain pertaining to retrieving, storing, and accessing long and short-term memories are being left behind for the use of your thumbs. You just have to type on your little smart phone keyboard, hit enter, and your questions are immediately answered. Your brain is no longer used to store knowledge.
I know I feel it in my generation, because I grew up with computers already available in the home. I've seen the invention of the iPhone, Blackberry, and Android smart phones. I've seen the internet become easier and easier to access and have daily interactions with, and it's starting to become obvious how the internet is dumbing down the population, as opposed to boosting it up and making it "smarter". I haven't had the greatest memory anyway, but I find it harder and harder to ever remember anything anymore. I don't have to, I can just open a web browser on my phone and search for any answer I need.
Sadly, smart phones are also creating boundaries and walls between people. Instead of connecting us, they separate us. Think of the last time you called someone just to talk. You just wanted to spend a little while just talking about nothing and everything. Did you instead write on their wall on Facebook? How much of an interaction did that warrant? Was it as satisfying as hearing their laugh? Did you miss learning how they feel, think, or reacted to something through the tone of their voice? Did you actually feel connected to that person?
If you did, I'm not sure how you could, and maybe you aren't a very social person at all. For me, I gain more satisfaction from eye contact, vocal inflection, touch, seeing their eyes crinkle around the corners when they genuinely smile... I like being around someone. But for the longest time, I gave all that up for interaction on Facebook. I decided that telling everyone the minute "highlights" of my day and whatever was on my mind was enough! It's not. I'm finding out who my true friends are, because they are the ones reaching out to me beyond Facebook. They are the ones I get to spend more time with now, and have more to talk about when we do get to spend that time together, in person.
They don't know everything that's happened in my life, they haven't been able to read my status updates. I have to tell them, they have to ask, they get to learn, and I get to teach. I love hearing about what someone has been through, but for those still connected to Facebook, it's hard for them to express that information. They have already expunged and expelled it on Facebook, and aren't keeping those ideas and events fresh in their minds. So they have to retrieve that information, and it's weary watching the struggle in their eyes as they try to remember just what have they been up to since we last talked. I've even seen someone pull up their Facebook profile to glance over their statuses to tell me what's happened in the last week.
That's so sad, I can't begin to express how sad that is. Are we not living our lives anymore? Are your days really centered around writing statuses on Facebook? Is every experience immediately dumbed down to the amount of characters that fit in a status? Are only the experiences worth a status worth remembering and enjoying and feeling?
I'm so glad I gave up Facebook. I wish everyone else would as well. My life is more rich, I can enjoy every moment without pulling out my phone to explain it to my Facebook friends on my wall as soon as something happens. I have to hold on to the emotions, the way something makes me feel, I have to remember it and hold it and treasure it and bring it up to tell a friend about it in person. I feel like I can live now and before, I wasn't.
Best decision ever. I have to thank Jon a great deal, because his constant teasing and belittling of me using Facebook helped me to make that final decision to delete my profile. I also have to thank several friends from Facebook who posted the most mundane and annoying things that got under my skin and also pushed me to be rid of it. Thank you, because I am so much better off without it.
Give it a try! For just one week, disable your account, and see how much better life is. You'll be forced to give someone a phone call, so you can know what they are up to and share their lives with them. You'll be forced to experience your life for yourself and not for the sake of spouting about it on Facebook. You'll be forced to have actual interactions with actual people! And that's not so bad, I promise!!!!!!
So stand with me and forget Facebook. It isn't giving you anything positive in your life.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
It's Too Cliche, I Won't Say I'm in Love...
Plot Twist:
This blog is still going to focus on my personal journey to finding my own health and happiness. I hope to act as inspiration, motivation, and a source of information about how to lose weight and gain confidence and the strength to be happy. However, you loyal readers out there, all two of you, may have noticed that this blog is getting more and more personal and a place where I seem to be placing random thoughts and ramblings about goings-on in my life that may or may not have an obvious link to the topics I've covered on this blog in the past. The blog is getting more personal, I must say, because I deleted my Facebook. So instead of blurting out the random ideas in status updates and mundane rambling notes, I've taken to dumping the most impressive and interesting of them here. I try to keep this blog just for mentions of what I'm doing to become happier and healthier, but I also find myself wanting to share parts of myself that may not be helpful to YOUR personal journey. I apologize for those types of entries, if they distract or annoy you. I'll try to keep them to a minimum, but sometimes to get something off my mind, I have to dump it somewhere, and this is the only blog I have active at the moment.
Love.
Love is Strange.
Love is something I've read about, heard about, listened to songs about, dreamed about, and laughed and/or cried about.
Love is personal.
Love is grief.
Love is joy.
Love is something no one can live without.
Love isn't real.
Love makes love.
Love is all you need. If you're a Beatles' fan...
Love is.
I may not be a smart man. But I know what love is. It jumped up and bit me in the buttocks!
Ok, ok, I'm getting strange now... quoting Forrest Gump is when the cryptic introduction sentences need to stop and they shall.
I find myself at a weird emotional crossroads. I have feelings for a man. Gasp, I know. All those summers watching my friends be in love and happy and knowing that behind their knowing smiles and gentle pats on my shoulder, they were wondering if I would ever find a love like theirs. And I was wondering the very same thing. Have I found it? When will I know? Will I ever know? How do I know? Will I wake up one day with a smile and firmly nod at the ceiling, just knowing that I've found love and will have it forever?
Does love truly exist beyond Disney princesses and Ryan Gosling's adorable southern accent in The Notebook? Does love only appear when Kate Winslet cracks Leo's frozen fingers from her still-alive hand and lets him slide into the cold dark depths? Is love only a work of fiction, imagination, and story-telling? Or is it something that will happen for everyone?
Even though I have somehow stumbled across someone who happily haunts my every waking and sleeping moment, I'm still not sure. Even though I've found someone who I feel absolutely sexually compatible with, I'm still not sure. Even though I've found someone who makes me have a goofy smile on my face whenever I think of him, I'm still not sure. Even though I know if he asked, I would pack up everything I own and hop on the next plane to run into his arms, I'm still not sure. Even though I've found someone who makes me unbearably happy and then excruciatingly sad, sometimes in the very same day, I'm still not sure. Even though I've found someone who the very thought of never hearing from again makes my heart literally skip a few hundred beats in my chest and my world slide away into blank dark nothingness, I'm still not sure.
When and how will I ever know? Should I try and answer that question? In asking and seeking to answer that question, am I taking for granted just living in the moment of whatever it is I've found and just enjoying it for what it is while I have it? Does analyzing the matter ruin it?
Probably... so I won't. I won't keep asking myself the question. Am I in love? Do I love him? I know the general answer, but I'm too scared to say it out loud. I'm too scared to feel it. I'm too scared to allow it to be alive! Even though it makes me happy. It truly does.
So I won't examine or question it. That takes the fun out of it anyhow.
This blog is still going to focus on my personal journey to finding my own health and happiness. I hope to act as inspiration, motivation, and a source of information about how to lose weight and gain confidence and the strength to be happy. However, you loyal readers out there, all two of you, may have noticed that this blog is getting more and more personal and a place where I seem to be placing random thoughts and ramblings about goings-on in my life that may or may not have an obvious link to the topics I've covered on this blog in the past. The blog is getting more personal, I must say, because I deleted my Facebook. So instead of blurting out the random ideas in status updates and mundane rambling notes, I've taken to dumping the most impressive and interesting of them here. I try to keep this blog just for mentions of what I'm doing to become happier and healthier, but I also find myself wanting to share parts of myself that may not be helpful to YOUR personal journey. I apologize for those types of entries, if they distract or annoy you. I'll try to keep them to a minimum, but sometimes to get something off my mind, I have to dump it somewhere, and this is the only blog I have active at the moment.
Love.
Love is Strange.
Love is something I've read about, heard about, listened to songs about, dreamed about, and laughed and/or cried about.
Love is personal.
Love is grief.
Love is joy.
Love is something no one can live without.
Love isn't real.
Love makes love.
Love is all you need. If you're a Beatles' fan...
Love is.
I may not be a smart man. But I know what love is. It jumped up and bit me in the buttocks!
Ok, ok, I'm getting strange now... quoting Forrest Gump is when the cryptic introduction sentences need to stop and they shall.
I find myself at a weird emotional crossroads. I have feelings for a man. Gasp, I know. All those summers watching my friends be in love and happy and knowing that behind their knowing smiles and gentle pats on my shoulder, they were wondering if I would ever find a love like theirs. And I was wondering the very same thing. Have I found it? When will I know? Will I ever know? How do I know? Will I wake up one day with a smile and firmly nod at the ceiling, just knowing that I've found love and will have it forever?
Does love truly exist beyond Disney princesses and Ryan Gosling's adorable southern accent in The Notebook? Does love only appear when Kate Winslet cracks Leo's frozen fingers from her still-alive hand and lets him slide into the cold dark depths? Is love only a work of fiction, imagination, and story-telling? Or is it something that will happen for everyone?
Even though I have somehow stumbled across someone who happily haunts my every waking and sleeping moment, I'm still not sure. Even though I've found someone who I feel absolutely sexually compatible with, I'm still not sure. Even though I've found someone who makes me have a goofy smile on my face whenever I think of him, I'm still not sure. Even though I know if he asked, I would pack up everything I own and hop on the next plane to run into his arms, I'm still not sure. Even though I've found someone who makes me unbearably happy and then excruciatingly sad, sometimes in the very same day, I'm still not sure. Even though I've found someone who the very thought of never hearing from again makes my heart literally skip a few hundred beats in my chest and my world slide away into blank dark nothingness, I'm still not sure.
When and how will I ever know? Should I try and answer that question? In asking and seeking to answer that question, am I taking for granted just living in the moment of whatever it is I've found and just enjoying it for what it is while I have it? Does analyzing the matter ruin it?
Probably... so I won't. I won't keep asking myself the question. Am I in love? Do I love him? I know the general answer, but I'm too scared to say it out loud. I'm too scared to feel it. I'm too scared to allow it to be alive! Even though it makes me happy. It truly does.
So I won't examine or question it. That takes the fun out of it anyhow.
Daydreaming About Dresses
I'm getting more and more into clothes, and I can't wait to be at a weight where I feel more comfortable with my body and will feel free enough to wear the clothes I imagine myself one day wearing... Here are some items I'm craving like crazy, and if I find them, I'll be so so happy and so happy to wear them.
Under the cut, my clothesgasms...
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