Day One and Two

The school semester is winding down, affording me precious energy and time to jump back into weight loss. I couldn't be more excited! Here's a re-cap of the last two days.

Wed. April 18th, 2012
Ate turkey wrap and chips/salsa
CafeSteamer

Exercised 30 minutes on the elliptical

Thurs. April 19th, 2012
Ate turkey sandwich and chips/salsa
CafeSteamer for dinner

Exercised 15 minutes (run/jog) on the treadmill, 15 minutes on the elliptical, about 20 mins clogdancing

Gina Getting Her Groove Back!

They say the world may end this year. Oddly enough, 2012 has seen a drastically different Gina than the girl who lived just a few years ago… I wear makeup now. I care about how my clothes fit and look on my body. I accessorize. I worry about my weight and then actually do things about it! I fall in love and out of love. I emphasize my assets and direct attention away from my faults (which I somehow no longer see as my entire body, head to toe, just a select few things here and there). I speak up in public about issues I have an opinion about, whether that be a topic in a classroom discussion or a problem being put forth at work by my boss or a co-worker. I don’t keep friends around who belittle or estrange or annoy me. The people in my life are positive forces that make me a better person and I hope I return the favor. I stride toward the future and seek knowledge. I don’t shy away from challenges and new experiences. 

My life is my own, I’m in the driver’s seat, I make all the executive decisions. I sometimes fall, I sometimes stumble, I sometimes stop; but I just as soon recuperate, rejuvenate, and start forward again.  What or who can I thank for such changes?  

Myself. I woke up one morning, one magical life-changing morning, and decided enough was enough. I was tired of being so tired. I was disgusted with myself for letting laziness and lack of drive rule my life. I woke up wondering where Gina had stopped being Gina and had begun being an excuse. 

If you want something bad enough, you’ll make it happen. If not, you’ll make excuses. Excuses no longer stop my life in its tracks. My life has become about nothing more than living. Join me?

From the dark-red ashes, shall arise a phoenix of life and light

New Body, New Me Initiative

For the past few weeks I have wandered pretty listlessly through life, badgered constantly by a heavy cloud that seems to follow me around, relentlessly, wherever I go. Even into my house, most especially into my house, to hover so close its suffocating me, as I crawl into bed to sleep at night. Depression is not something I like to allow into my life. I banish those dark fears in my head, banish them behind empty laughter and half-bright smiles. I don't want people to know I'm hurting. I want to be strong, happy, and healthy, but sometimes... that dark impenetrable cloud just won't go away.

But determination wells within me because my skin yearns for the sun again. I'm not a person accustomed to being in darkness always. I need sunlight, I need fresh air, I need joy. And now is that time. I'm taking back what was mine. I'm taking back my own pride, my own satisfaction, my own joy! I'm not letting a little heartbreak, a few detrimental blows to my self-esteem and ego hold me down and break my stride. Baby, I'm strutting back into my own limelight. I need more positive energy into my life and the easiest way to find that?

By being happy and healthy, of course! Healthiness leads to happiness and vice versa. When the body is healthy, the mind can be happy, and there's no other way around that. I can see my achievements slipping from my grasp and I simply can't let that happen. I'm not ready to be fat, ugly, gross, and disappointed in myself. I'm ready to gain back what I have achieved and move ahead, move forward, move toward a new body and a new me.

Thus begins the New Body, New Me Initiative. Phase Two of the Happy Healthy Gina plan was a flop. I didn't stick to any of my goals, I wasn't successful. So I need a new mind-set, a new place to race toward, a new day to begin! And here I am. School and work have dominated the last few weeks of my life, and lazily, I have allowed that to be so. But there are still a few hours in my days that I'm letting go to waste. Yes, I need time to do homework and time to also relax. But I'm taking too much time for the relaxing bit and not enough time for the homework bit and DEFINITELY not enough time for the happiness/healthiness bits...

I have to take back my time, take back my drive, and take back what is rightfully mine: success.

My plan is to cut out fast food and sodas completely, sticking to home-made meals and water to drink. I also plan to fit in at least one workout a day, two workouts a day on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

Monday/Wednesdays - treadmill or elliptical night
Tuesday/Thursdays - Workout DVD (or walk/jog, weather permitting) morning / treadmill or elliptical night
Friday/Saturday/Sunday - Workout DVD (or walk/jog) morning / treadmill or elliptical at night

Phase Two - Day Three

Stats for the Day
Wake Up: 11:30 AM
Breakfast: none
Lunch: Ham sandwich and tater tots. Water.
Exercise: none
Snack: Bagel
Dinner: Pizza

Inspiration of the Day
Lasting glances from a crush. Making eye contact with him makes me blush, giggle, and tingle. Can't wait until I feel more self-confidence and can march right up to him and ask for his phone number.

Reflections on the Day
I didn't work out, and I ate a bagel and some pizza. I feel on the verge of failure and depression, but I won't let myself down. In fact, I'm determined to do some DVD workouts over the weekend and boost myself back up because I'll need a kick-in-the-pants to carry my current daily exercise regime into the school year.

Phase Two: Day Two

Stats for the Day
Wake Up: 11:30 AM
Breakfast: none
Lunch: Salsa Chicken and tater tots. Water.
Snack: Special K. Minute Maid Lemonade.
Exercise: 30 mins clogdancing
Dinner: Chicken Spaghetti Alfredo and apple sauce. Water.

Inspiration for the Day
Took my shirt off for the shower and my breasts already feel a tiny bit perkier after only two exercise sessions this week. I'm starting to notice the tightening of my body where my muscles are getting the work out they've been desperately needing.

Reaction to the Day
  

Phase Two: Day One

Stats for the Day
Wake Up: 11:30 AM
Breakfast: None
Lunch: Ham sandwich with brown mustard on wheat bread and tortilla chips with salsa. Water.
Snack: Special K bar with Minute Maid lemonade to drink.
Exercise: 30 minutes elliptical Random setting
Dinner: Beef Merlot CafeSteamer

Today's Inspiration
I was flirting with the UPS guy, and he offered to get the phone number of his co-worker who I find quite attractive. I felt self-conscious and declined the oppurtunity for the phone number. I have to stick to my goals so my self-confidence will grow and these sorts of oppurtunities won't pass me by!!!!!!!!!!! Reason Number One for Losing the Weight: So my expert flirtation skills won't go to waste due to my lack of physical self-confidence. I know my personality is there, but I want a great body to back it up.

Thoughts of the Day
I feel great and inspired to begin the new phase of my life and especially looking forward to the improvement of my health and happiness. I need to succeed now more than ever. There is no looking back. My future is ahead of me and in a few months' time I want to be able to say, "I did it!" instead of, "I was doing so well, but I gave up. Oh well."

Phase Two: The Plan

To better facilitate Phase Two of my endeavor to lose a hundred pounds by May 2012, I am going to go back to daily counts of everything I eat and the exercise I have done. This will force me to stick to my plans and not deviate. By holding myself accountable, I feel I will be more likely to sustain will power and not sleep until noon before grabbing a cheeseburger on the way to work. It worked for Phase One, where I successfully lost forty pounds and maintained that weight for nearly five months, so I’m going to reinstate it for Phase Two. Here is a vague outline of my plan:

1.       Daily blog counts of food eaten and exercise done

2.       Only eat home-made meals, eat at restaurants sparingly.

3.       No soda, stay away from unnecessary sweets.

4.       Only one serving at a meal. No second helpings.

5.       Exercise for at least thirty minutes every day. Fit in more when time allows (if there is no homework or housework to be done).